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[Music] how to get laid part three make sure you go watch part one and part two because i'm not gonna be repeating that stuff by the way just because i'm covering this topic does not mean that we're done with spiritual topics or other sorts of advanced metaphysical topics i'll be talking about those more in the future like i've said in the past um i'm gonna be sort of oscillating back and forth between spiritual topics and very philosophical topics that are very abstract and metaphysical and epistemological and also very practical topics so this is part of the practical stuff and i will have more practical stuff about just um other aspects of life not just sexuality not just dating but other things including business and leadership skills and relationship skills and so forth so all that is coming and just so you understand that where i'm coming from it's uh i want a well-rounded set of teachings and i don't want to just repeat myself endlessly so my my goal with this work is that every video stands on its own and talks about a topic on its own and i don't like to repeat myself so once i cover a topic that i'm done with it i move on to something else i'm not just going to keep covering the same topic year after year after year all right so let's get into it the first distinction we should make here is fake value versus true value so really in order to attract higher quality people into your life especially relationship wise dating wise you can do it in one of two ways you can fake value or you can generate true value basically to attract higher quality people you need to have higher value because higher quality people bring more value so what are you providing in terms of value in this negotiation it is a sort of a negotiation game here and so uh what a lot of people do is they try to fake their value without actually changing themselves to provide more value to their partners so what i suggest though is that if you want a solid strategy for attracting higher quality people and retaining them you know retention can become a problem if you just do fake value because with fake value you can you can hook people in maybe you can even sleep with them a few times but then you're not going to be able to retain them because they're going to see that actually they're going to regret who they slept with and the value you you bring they see that that was just like a front it wasn't the real deal so what i recommend just as a general strategy in life is bring massive value become a massive value provider stop trying to leech value from other people and this is true not just in dating and attraction but in your business in your career even in your friendships just in general adopt the principle of being a massive value provider provide way more value than you ask for in return and this counter-intuitively will set you up to have a very abundant life both financially and creatively and with relationships and with women and so forth become a genuinely valuable man make a list of what makes for a genuinely valuable man not just a front and then go about systematic systematically building that out in your life this is a multi-year long decades-long maybe even multiple decades-long project that you undertake as a man and so this of course goes way beyond just attracting women with your verbal skills and approaching this also then goes into into deeper aspects of developing yourself developing your masculinity your core confidence and strengthen yourself your self-esteem working out various kinds of traumas and psychological baggage and problems that you have so you don't burden the woman with that and you don't burden your relationship with that right that makes you more available in your relationship for having fun and positive emotions and deeper intimacy and if you develop yourself financially that gives you more freedom in terms of the flexibility of your schedule you can travel more you have more money therefore you can buy plane tickets you know if you need to see some girl and she's somewhere else around the country you can buy a plane ticket you can uh change your schedule to see her and so forth this kind of flexibility you know you can develop this develop your lifestyle your sense of dress your fashion uh even where you live your bachelor pad so to speak develop that so that like when a woman comes into your life she's like wow this guy is really well put together he's not just spewing some lines at me that sound funny and cool and interesting and that hooked my attention although maybe he did a bit of that to grab my attention but then he hooked me in but then what he hooked me into was this amazing life and now i can be part of it and then you will hook her in even deeper than that because not only will she partake in your life in the material aspects of your life that you've developed and the abundance you created for yourself but then you will also and this is perhaps the biggest gift that you're going to give her is that you're going to help her develop herself and develop her life too and in this way you're going to offer that kind of leadership that she's not going to get anywhere else because what other guy is going to teach her how to meditate teach her about psychedelics teach her about self-actualization teach her about emotional mastery and all these other things that you're doing as part of this larger project of self-actualizing yourself and maybe even awakening yourself and herself and then growing together and that's really that's the thing that's going to connect sort of be the transitional bridge from attracting her to then developing a deep relationship with her because really what a deep relationship is about it's about growing together that's what it's about and so really the whole point of all your attraction work is to find the right girl who you can then grow with and self-actualize together with and that's you know that gets us into relationship advice which we'll cover in a separate section in a separate video all right so another point that i forgot to mention which i probably should have said earlier in the series is that attraction is one of those things that is deeply deeply counter-intuitive i've talked about counter-intuitive things in the past the theme of life being very counter-intuitive i have a whole episode about that the counterintuitive nature of life it's called go check that out well attraction is one of those things and so it's actually very painful when you first get into learning about attraction there are some painful truths that you have to come face to face with and admit to yourself that you're not going to want to admit and to embrace even uh a lot of the way that women are attracted to men is the opposite of what you would think you would think being nice to the girl and showering her with attention and praise and compliments and gifts and bending over backwards for her that this would make her the most attracted to you you would think that bragging about yourself and showing off your fancy house car watch your bank account that this would make her more attracted to you and actually what it does is it does exactly the opposite it's so counterintuitive and so it's not enough just for me to tell you that you literally have to go into the field and try all these methods that you think will attract women and then you you watch them fail again and again and again and you see how painful it is this sort of nice guy approach you take you you test it out and you see that it doesn't work and it hurts you it's like it's like being stabbed in the heart because here you've been trying to be nice your whole life you've been trying to be intelligent you've been trying to be respectful of women and you know um you were trying to be high consciousness and wise and all these good characteristics of a self-actualizing guy you're trying to be all these things and then you realize that women don't reward you for this in fact they reward you the most for the exact opposite behaviors when you act narcissistically like a douchebag when you're a jerk when you tease them when you push them away from you a lot of women respond the best to that kind of behavior and uh that's difficult to accept it's difficult for us guys to accept it was difficult for me to accept as a nice guy when i started learning all this stuff i didn't want to accept this but i was forced to accept it just by going out a lot and and seeing what really works in the real world and also it's it's difficult for women to admit this to themselves too see like a lot of women will say no leo that's not true well the problem with you ladies is that you don't have experience actually attracting women and so you actually you're also your mind is also filled with various kinds of myths about what you want in a guy and what you're attracted to in a guy and uh what you think you're attracted to may not be what you actually respond to in the same way that like i can sit up here and talk about how i'm a very healthy guy and i eat the most healthy food only the healthiest fruits and vegetables and organic stuff but then when there's a piece of chocolate cake nearby am i going to eat the chocolate cake am i going to eat the greasy pizza am i going to eat the greasy burger or am i going to just eat a kale salad see and so i have i have ideas of of what i what i want for myself like my highest ideals then i have those things that i actually respond to and so this is this is part of the challenge of of understanding attraction is that it's very counterintuitive and that your ideas about it are not enough you have to actually go and do it in field and see what women actually respond to and the process of getting good at attracting women requires you to rewire your mind your mind literally has to work in opposite ways and it's that's part of the challenge of this process that you go out and you talk to hundreds and thousands of women and each interaction as it fails and it breaks your heart and you wonder why did it fail you realize you have to rewire your mind each one rewires your mind and it trains you to to think in different ways and you have to think very fast on your feet you know you don't have a lot of time with a woman when you're face to face with her to sit through and carefully plan something out or things think something through you're acting on instinct so you have to rewire those instinctual patterns you have because she's gonna throw something at you verbally then you got to throw something back at her verbally and usually it's the opposite of what you thought you should say a lot of times it's like that so uh what do women want most at the highest level attraction-wise relationship wise in their day in their dating life really what they want a woman wants a player who she can tame and so in a sense she wants a very paradoxical and impossible thing because the more of a player a guy is the more value he has the more options he has with girls the less interested in he is in being tamed and committed to one girl she has to be a very very special girl for him to give up all the other girls for her and yet that's exactly every girl's fantasy she wants to be that special one the one for whom he gave up all the other girls now will she get that uh maybe she will actually most players end up settling down at some point they get it out of their system after they do it for five or ten years they get out of their system and they do end up settling down and getting married or getting a long-term girlfriend so it's certainly possible for women to tame a player but the odds of course are against you because let's say a player sleeps with 50 girls and he settles down with only one of them of course he can only settle down with one so that's a one in 50 chance that you have as a girl not very good odds so girls play this sort of dangerous game um they're they're very much attracted to players even though they don't like admitting it and then they convince themselves that they can tame the player and whether they can or not is you know up for grabs maybe you can maybe you can't it's really not not very wise to think you can tame a player um unless you're also bringing a lot to the table unless you're you're truly an extraordinary girl then uh watch out um and of course players abuse this this power we'll be talking about that at the end of the episode is how this power is abused because that's that's important to talk about so what i recommend though you do your strategy is to if you're a nice guy if you're sort of the typical nice guy actually develop yourself into more of a player learn how to set the player frame which will get women attracted to you quickly and will get them sleeping with you quickly because one of the most paradoxical aspects of game that you'll learn is that if you set the boyfriend frame it's going to take her longer to sleep with you it's gonna take her three dates to sleep with you if you set the player frame she'll sleep with you on the same night now this is completely counter-intuitive because you would think it would be the opposite you would think like well a girl should be able to sense that the guy is a player and therefore she should avoid him no it actually works the opposite because see when she thinks that oh this is a boyfriend guy he's going to be my long-term boyfriend material sort of guy now she's like oh i got to be extra careful i don't want to appear too [ __ ] i got to go really slow we got to build this thing up you know properly but when she's with a player guy and she knows he's just a player guy it's all just for fun it's like oh sure okay yeah we can sleep together tonight it's just we're just having fun and we're partying nothing serious is gonna happen from this so uh he's not gonna judge me and i'm not going to judge myself and that's it we'll sleep together i'll forget about him and that's it very very counterintuitive and many women will not admit this to themselves but this is actually how it works it's uh i mean i would love if it worked the opposite way it would be easier for me if it worked the opposite way it would be easier for nice guys if it worked the opposite but it doesn't so anyways what i recommend is that actually fulfill her deepest fantasy become the player adopt some of the qualities of the player and then when you find the right girl you're gonna end up settling down with her at least for uh for some while and and then she can feel that she tamed you and she can feel really special for that and that will fulfill her deepest fantasy and at the same time you're not just going to be this scummy player who has nothing else going in his life but you know chasing girls you're going to have all these other things in your life that you've developed and built so really you're going to be working twice as hard here as a guy you're going to be working twice as hard maybe even four times as hard in order to develop both capacities you're going to develop the capacities of the provider guy the long-term relationship guy and the capacities of the player and you're going to develop that flexibility to kind of jump between the two uh as appropriate uh really on the front end you want to wear the player frame and on the back end once she's attracted to you then you can do the more provider frame and then you kind of get the best of both worlds and she will be the happiest with that situation and you will too but it takes like four times as much work which is why it's rare and also because it's rare it's valuable and she's gonna see that value at some point once you attract her but let's start talking about attraction again so uh i mentioned this thing called hook point in the last episode let's talk about hook point because this is a crucial thing that when i understood this this this was a giant chunk of understanding how to attract women as hook point so if you just walk up to a random single girl and you start talking to her and you're being attractive you're speaking to her man to woman you're flirting with her you're teasing her you're gonna reach hook point with her within one second to five minutes it's gonna happen somewhere there so what hook point means is that you can clearly tell that she's attracted to you as a sexual partner how do you tell that hook point has been reached i'll give you a whole list here in a second uh but really what it is is you develop an intuition for it you feel it and i'm going to help you to figure out how to feel it but really you got to go in and feel and actually try this some interactions you have with girls she's just not going to get attracted to you maybe because you're not her type or because you two just don't resonate you don't have chemistry together right so hook point is really the point where you can clearly tell that there's chemistry between you two and what's amazing about hook point is that it happens so fast it happens within five minutes usually and if it doesn't happen within five minutes it's probably never ever going to happen and so this is one of the problems that a lot of guys face who are trying to like slowly attract women through this sort of subterfuge or this kind of sneaky long-term approach a lot of nice guys try to do this it's like there's there's like susie at work she's my work colleague and i've known her for five months and you know we've been talking a little bit and maybe i i think maybe i can date her and grab her number or something like this and so i'm trying to like butter her up butter her up and butter her up and i've been buttering up for like months but you don't need to do this literally like you can trigger a girl's attraction within five minutes you don't need to butter her up for months in fact if you're buttering her up for months that's almost a clear sign that she's not attracted to you and she never will be you don't need to wait a long time like i was under the impression that maybe it takes 60 minutes of talking to a girl to get her finally attracted to me no all you really need is five minutes if you can't do it within five minutes that doesn't mean that not enough time has passed that more time is needed that means that you weren't charismatic enough and you didn't present yourself properly within those first five minutes because if you did she would have gotten attracted or maybe she wouldn't simply because of you know she's not into your race your ethnicity your type or maybe she's not looking for a relationship right now whatever of course there's many reasons she won't get attracted but if she will get attracted she can do it within five minutes and oftentimes what's really shocking is to discover it can happen within five seconds that's one of the biggest epiphanies you'll have in game if you go out a lot you approach a lot you will have girls who you will reach hook point within five seconds and even faster within a single second you'll have plenty within a single second you'll reach hook point and it's so amazing like the most amazing part of my nights when i go out is you know i'm walking looking into girl's eyes like sometimes i get a certain kind of eye contact i can just tell by the eye contact that i get from a girl even without talking to her yet as i'm opening her within one second i already i can already tell how receptive she is to to my approach and already i know i've reached hook point and so what's crucial about reaching hook point is that when you reach hook point you clearly know she's into you now you can get away with so much more because if you haven't reached hook point the girl is going to be cold and she's going to be logical towards you and she's gonna be in a sort of a like a more of a you know two strangers talking or like two business colleagues talking sort of situation whereas when you reach hook point then you can escalate really quickly physically you can start making out with her you can start kissing her you can start groping her all sorts of things become possible once hook point is reached so it's really the magical stage that you want to reach in every single one of your approaches of course you you can't reach this in every approach um but it and then also what you want to do is you want to register when the hook point is happening and then you want to capitalize it on it really hard because what you'll realize is that if you can't hook the girl within five minutes it's not really worth your time to stay in there and plow that set for 60 minutes like sometimes when i when i first began gaming years ago um i would just think that you know well the longer i stay in set and the longer we talk then the more chances that she's going to like me and i would do these long 60 minute sets or 90 minutes that's where i would just talk and talk and talk and entertain the girls with stories and you know whatever and i would think that well at some point she's gonna get attracted it's like no the problem was that i didn't do it within five minutes properly i didn't hook it within five minutes and then all the rest was just a waste of time right like and sometimes you'll have that sometimes you'll just be talking to a few girls and if you didn't talk to them you didn't begin the interaction with a clear dominant sort of a man-to-woman frame then no matter how long you talk to them you'll see that it's going to just kind of devolve the set is going to develop into sort of a friendly conversation it's going to be nice and friendly but it's not going to lead to any sex or any dating and so hook point here becomes a really crucial distinction that you want to reach and quickly make um and you really want to be able to tell within seconds if it happened and if you're doing physical openers so what's great about physical openers is that they tend to be very polarizing and either you reach hook point immediately within a few seconds or she blows you out because you're not her type or whatever and she just blows you out she's not receptive and so with with physical openers you know you can open let's say 20 girls in a night at a club and maybe two of them within a few seconds will immediately reach hook point and so it's those two that you got to focus on and then all the other 18 who just weren't receptive you just completely forget about those ignore those doesn't matter and focus on those two and then maybe one of those two you can convert to something all right so how do you tell that you reach hook point it's the point that you can tell that she's clearly attracted to you so the most important aspect of this is that her attention shifts to you so one of the most challenging things to do when you're cold approaching a girl is just to get her attention to shift to you because a lot of times girls are in their own space thinking about their own problems focus on their friends focus on having fun focused on dancing focus on other guys that they're you know with in the group focus on everything but you you come in there and you know you approach her and she gives you a little bit of attention because you demand it when you do a strong confident approach but then her attention will waver off to something else unless you attract her attract her attention and then her attention shifts to you she starts looking you in the eyes she starts facing you she turns towards you and she's very attentive and she's listening to what you're saying and she's interested in it she's not just there to entertain you like some sort of salesman or a telemarketer where she's just kind of like nodding along just you know just to be polite she's genuinely interested in you something about you is special in her eyes and she wants to know more about you also how you can tell is that she lets you touch her she lets you hug her without any flinching or resistance she lets you rub her body she lets you put your hands on her hips she lets you put your hand around her shoulders like this you can hold her like this this is this is big and and so the nice thing about a physical opener if you open her physically is that you can immediately tell her receptiveness to your touch some girls you can open them very hard physically and she will just be immediately receptive you can like walk up to a girl and just immediately start hugging her and she will be receptive to it and this clearly tells you that she's she's interested and then from there like you can immediately tell that things are on and then you just carry it on now of course some girls could be interested in you but they could still be a little bit frigid and a little bit standoffish in terms of physical touch not all girls are into you know heavy physical touching right away uh so sometimes you can you will need to go a little bit slower but in general once you reach hook point she's going to be very very open to being physically touched by you in various ways of course you still have to escalate in a smooth fashion you don't want to be too abrupt uh and you know you want to start with lighter touching and move on to heavier stuff but especially if she lets you like for example put your hands on her hips like that's a really good indicator that she's uh attracted to you and you've already reached hook point and so you can use physical touch to actually test for how for whether you did reach hook point you know just see how much physical touch you can get away with and that that can be one of the best clues to uh how attracted she is to you also she cares about what you're saying and what you're doing and when her attention breaks off let's say her friend comes to her and starts grabbing her attention away she will turn to her friend talk to her friend but then she will turn back to you if you reach hook point if you haven't reached hook point usually what happens is that her attention is so fickle that her friend can just take her attention away or some other guy can come in and take her attention away and then she loses she forgets all about you see if she forgets about you within a second that means you didn't hook her but if she keeps coming back to you and especially if her friends drag her away like let's say they drag her away 10 feet for a few minutes and then she comes back to she actually walks back to you that's obvious sign that you hooked her and that she's attracted to you because no girl would do that if if she wasn't attracted to you um so so look for that your goal should be to grab her attention within the first five minutes so strongly in such a compelling fashion that then she will be returning back to you like a puppy dog for the rest of the night now that in practice that's pretty difficult to do because when girls go out you know they're partying they're drinking they're with their friends it's chaos they're dancing and so it can be difficult to grab her attention but you can do it another clear sign of hook point is that she wants to know more about you which means she starts asking you a lot of questions she starts asking you for her for your name she asks you what you do she asks you where you're from and she asks you even deeper more personal questions about yourself usually unless you reach hook point most girls will not be asking you these questions simply because they don't care they're not invested enough in you but once she's attracted now she wants to know more about you because in a sense now she's sort of trying to figure out like well who is this guy i want to know more about him if i'm going to date him or sleep with him another point here of hook point is she qualifies herself to you what that means is that she tells you about why she's worthy of you she starts to justify herself to you she tells you about her job if her job is good she tells you how much money she makes if she makes a lot of money she tells you how um loving she is she tells you all of her good qualities so that it's almost like she's trying to impress you or bragging a little bit about herself because she was the way the way it basically works from her from her perspective is like this it's like well this guy is amazing i don't even feel on his level he's above me and i want him to kind of register and notice me as a potential you know mating opportunity so let me qualify myself to him and and kind of brag to him a little bit how good i am and maybe that'll get his attention so if she's doing that to you then clearly she likes you of course another very obvious sign of hook point is that she gives you compliments if she tells you you're cute if she tells you you're handsome if she tells you you're a good looking guy if she tells you you're wonderful you're amazing these sorts of things obvious girls never say this unless you hook them another very good sign is that she laughs at things you say that aren't even funny she's giggling another good sign is that she has difficulty maintaining eye contact if you're doing very strong sexual eye contact and then she has to look away or she has to kind of like coily turn to the side because she can't hold the eye contact but not in a sort of way where she doesn't want to talk to you like she still wants to talk to you she still has a smile on her face but she just can't maintain that strong sexual eye contact because you've been practicing it and she hasn't um that's also a really good sign and the final sign of hook point is that she follows you around if you try to move her she's compliant so if you move her two feet you're like hey come over here this is a better place to sit and it's just two feet and she comes with you without any resistance or any questioning obviously she's attracted to you and then the further you lead her and the more compliant she is the more attracted to you she basically is the more she trusts you so if you're like hey let's let's get let's walk outside the bar so my friends are there usually a girl will not walk with you outside the bar unless you've hooked her so those are some of the points look for all of these develop a radar and intuition for this when you're going out and your job as a newbie when you're first starting this is that your job is to approach very consistently and then to hook as much as possible within the first five minutes and if you're not able to hook it can still be worthwhile for you to stick and set just to practice your verbals uh when i was a newbie i would try to you know do 60 minute sets even if they were just friend to friend and nothing sexual was coming out of it still it's still useful but eventually when you get to an intermediate advanced stage you're going to want to cut those off and if you can't hook within five minutes just move on to the next girl that's basically how you make the most efficient use of your time out all right now let's move on to the list of the top principles of game so principle number one is go out go out game doesn't work if you're not going out some of this stuff the fundamentals are so simple you start learning game theory there's so much theory out there on the internet that you can find products courses seminars workshops videos channels whatever you know you can find all sorts of you can spend thousands of hours studying advanced pickup theory but uh really a lot of it's just a waste of your time you'll be much better off spending that time most of that time spend 99 95 of your time going out rather than reading theory go out learn from the field that's where you get your results you can't get laid unless you're going out the next principle is in field is king that means that a lot of the things that you're stressing over and you don't know how to solve about your game like you know leo how do i approach what opener should i use should i say this thing or that thing should i hug her or kiss her and at what time did i reach hook point or didn't i reach hook point uh you know how do i get her back to my place like all these sorts of questions that you know you're looking for theory to fix this most of this stuff will just auto correct by going out go out it's okay if you don't know some of these things you're not going to know the answer to most these questions when you start going out just go out and trust that by gaining a lot of experience and running tests yourself when you're out that's how you really learn even if you sit down and learn all the theory for a thousand hours you're not going to be able to register and implement and embody that theory when you're actually out in practice it takes a lot of going out and week after week month after month you slowly learn lessons and make distinctions and integrate various aspects of theory and basically you're going to develop your own theories and principles just from going out and uh doing testing right like test if you if you don't know uh if you have some sort of question rather than asking someone online on some forum or some reddit thread or whatever i mean you could do that that can be helpful but but your first instinct instinct should not be to ask me or somebody on the internet your first things instinct should be like well i'm going out friday and saturday so why don't i test it why don't i test this opener versus that opener why don't i test kissing her versus not kissing her and see how it works and what what what works and what doesn't work this makes it empirical otherwise you start getting into elaborate theories and your labor theories they don't match up with the actual empirical reality of talking to a girl so infield is king it trumps everything else and all the theory comes from in field otherwise it's not valid theory the next principle is called the law of state transference this is a principle popularized by rsd um so this principle means what you feel she feels girls are very emotional and guys are leading the interaction so your emotions as the guy are leading the interaction so if you feel depressed and insecure and fearful and anxious around her and nervous guess what she's gonna feel insecure anxious nervous around you if you feel weird and creepy she's gonna feel weird and creepy if you feel awkward you're gonna make her feel awkward if you're terrified of her she's going to be terrified of you emotions transfer between people they transfer through your eye contact through your posture your body language your vocal tonality all the sub-communications those subtle signals that she's just instinctively reading off you women are really good at reading these subtle cues implicitly much better than guys they have to because it's important for their survival they need to just instinctively tell whether you're a rapey creepy weird [ __ ] guy or you're a cool chill fun social guy so she can tell this within seconds so what this principle this is a crucial principle what this what this principle means is that you got to put yourself into a good playful mood and state when you're talking to girls in order to attract them it also means that you got to be attracted to them for them to be attracted to you and you can't be hiding your attraction for them because then you're reducing your chances of them being attracted to you so a big aspect of your game to work on is actually put yourself into a fun playful happy mood when you're going out put yourself into a flirtatious sexy mood when you're going out because that's how you want her to feel when she's talking to you so this is why building your state is also so important that's another principle lower on the list that we'll get to you know building your state the reason why you got to build your state is because your state is going to rub off on her and so as a newbie one of the biggest problems i can tell you that you're gonna have is you're not gonna you're not gonna be in a state of playfulness and flirtation and fun and you're not gonna feel very sexy you're gonna feel insecure you're gonna feel awkward and creepy and perhaps most of all you're gonna just feel anxious and terrified especially when you're talking to very beautiful women at night they're all dressed up dolled up uh you know they're cleavages hanging out they're wearing skimpy dresses you might think she's really beautiful really hot you're talking to like this girl who looks like a model standing here and you're nervous and you're scared that rubs off on her and that's why you failed to attract her so you got to get to a point where you're very loose in your body you're very comfortable at the club even when the loud music is blaring you can't even hear yourself think you got to be very comfortable very relaxed and when you're talking to her it has to feel very casual and easy rather than forceful and anxious and you're kind of like looking at her with these scared eyes the scared eyes remove all fear from your eyes all anxiety from your eyes because any fear in your eyes is going to transfer to her and will immediately blow you out it's going to be very creepy it's going to feel very creepy and awkward to her and she'll just run away from you sometimes girls will literally run away from you know try it go out to a club and just give a girl like walk up to a girl and just give her a kind of a scared look she'll run away from you and that will show you the power of the lawsuit on the other hand go out and just be be having fun dancing with your friends laughing and all this and as you're laughing just literally a girl is walking by just [ __ ] grab her and pull her in and just [ __ ] hug her while you're laughing and you'll see she's gonna start laughing and she's gonna start hugging you back and she's gonna start smiling and giggling and it's gonna be on immediately you'll you'll you'll hook her within a second by doing that just through law of state transference the next principle we discussed already in part two but let's reiterate it man to woman communication you gotta look at her in a sexual way the frame of the entire conversation has to be sexual without saying anything explicitly sexual it can't be a business communication it can't be a sales communication it can't be a friend to friend communication so work on this principle man to woman every time you're talking to a girl who you're who you are attracted to make it man to woman how do you do that well um you can drop little you know subtle hints you can just tell her she's cute she's beautiful you can give her compliments like that um you can say she's sexy you can you can do it through the way you physically touch her but most importantly it's how you look at her look at her like a wolf looks at a rabbit look at her like a uh cat looks at a canary uh but it has to be playful too right because there's there's two aspects to the look if it's just like raw sexual energy but you have like a deadpan serious face then you're gonna give her like a rapist vibe and that's not gonna work um so you gotta you gotta give that kind of sexy look but at the same time it's you got to be smirking and smiling it has to be playful like i don't know if i'm doing it right it feels very awkward to do it here to a camera but practice that practice giving her that kind of like sly sexy playful masculine look and what could even help you more with that is actually when you're looking at her imagine like you're having sex with her the kind of look you would give her if you were having sex with her but again maintain the smile otherwise you're going to give her that creepy rapist look that will scare her off and in general when you're communicating with her man to woman it's like you're not talking about the weather right it's it's a more intimate communication it's sort of a banter back and forth that involves a lot of teasing and flirtation and it's like personal between you two so you're basically talking about her and you you're not talking about the weather you're not talking about sports you're not talking about spirituality although of course you could be talking about these things but you have to you have to imbue that with a certain like um intimacy and a sort of like you and us together against the whole world look at her or just maybe another frame of mind you can take is just assume that she's already your girlfriend how would you talk to her if she was already your girlfriend like that uh the next principle is let her feel your raw sexual desire for her and and what i mean by this is is not sexually groping her but i mean like if you if you're genuinely attracted to a woman um one of the problems is that the way we're raised culturally is that like we're taught to hide that as men it's not appropriate to show that like if you find a woman sexy at work it's not appropriate for you to comment on that you have to hide it right at school you had to hide it uh and probably you're hiding it even when you're at the bar or the club where it's actually appropriate to express that you're also hiding it you're repressing it and you feel like if you showed it to her then she would get scared or be weird and awkward um actually some of the best results you'll get is if you don't jerk off for a week or two so that you actually feel very sexual and then you go out to the club go out to the bar and with that raw sexual energy inside of you that genuine desire you find a girl you really are into her those hormones are pumping through through your body through your mind and then that energy you broadcast that energy and you transfer that energy onto her the way you look at her the way you talk to her the way you you put your hands on her all of that now keep in mind nothing sexual needs to be said at all it's just the energy you're putting forth and also it's your genuine desire for like do you want her do you want her tonight because see a lot of guys especially as newbie you go out there and it's like why are you going out well i want to get laid okay you want to get laid but see it's it's an abstraction it's like yeah i want to get laid someday if i keep going out eventually maybe in a week or two in a month i'll get laid i mean you can start there of course but eventually you want to get to the point where it's not like you're just going out and maybe you'll get laid or maybe you won't it's like no i'm out i see that girl i want that girl that one right there tonight right like tonight we're making it [ __ ] happen i'm gonna do everything possible to make it happen tonight that kind of intentfulness is very important if you want serious results and uh and she's gonna feel that from you and that's gonna suddenly influence how you're talking to her and also the the urgency and the energy you're putting into um uh the interaction and what you're willing to do to make it happen i um i remember when i first started going out like i didn't i didn't really even have the possibility of of sleeping with that girl the same night i mean i knew it was possible but it was so far away it was such an abstraction that it wasn't like palpable in the moment when i was talking to her so practice just transferring your raw sexual desire onto her when you're talking to her and you can you'll you'll feel and you'll experience how powerful this is and and really to do this don't jerk off for a while don't have sex for a while for a few days for a few weeks uh and then you'll see how powerful that can be another principle is allow your true self to get rejected so when you're first starting off you might fear rejection so much that you put on a sort of a act or a persona or a mask when you're talking to a girl therefore she's not really rejecting the true you when she rejects you and this this is safe for you because yeah she rejected you but she didn't reject the real you so what you want to do is you want to try to remove all the masks and all the sort of dancing monkey acts and just at least try this once a night walk up to a girl as your true authentic self without trying to be too gamey with her and running some routines on her and some dancing monkey you know stories and stuff just like be completely yourself and try to get her to reject you as your true self this is very healthy for you to grow and what you'll probably realize is that when you're going up to her and just being your true self without any routines or masks or games or monkey business and you try to get rejected you might notice that actually she doesn't reject you she gets more attracted to you and this will show you that actually the most advanced forms of game is about letting all the monkey routines go and just like being chill and being your authentic self and of course of course girls will still reject you there's no guarantee that she won't if you approach enough girls many of them will still reject you even for your true self but you got to be mad enough to take that rejection because see what you really want is you want the girl to love you not for your dancing monkey routines and for your lines and your games you want her to love you for you otherwise it's not going to feel satisfying to you so if girls are rejecting you for your true self your authentic self then girls will also be those who you will be hooking will be getting hooked to your true self and this is what really builds that inner core self-esteem and confidence is you'll realize that yeah sure some girls reject my true self but plenty of girls get attracted to my true self and that makes you feel good about yourself now you can start to love yourself and that will help you to heal some of that insecurity that you feel about yourself you know a lot of guys think they're not attractive they're not good looking enough they're not lovable and other things like that and that they have to act out some sort of routine for the girl in order for her to love you no girls can love you for your true self but you have to be vulnerable enough to put that on the line you got to be man enough to put yourself on the line so practice that another principle is be positive bring value and energy if there's a couple of girls at the bar and they're having fun and laughing and then you walk up there and you bring less energy than they have in the group you're less positive than them they're laughing more than you they're having more fun than you you are like leeching their energy and they're gonna feel that you're a value taker you're not a value provider so try to actually when you're entering a set add value and energy into the set add positivity add humor into the set then they're gonna see like oh this guy's cooler than us he's more playful he laughs more than us he makes better jokes than us he he he wants to dance more than us he has more energy than us and then they get attracted to your positive energy you see and for this you got to put yourself in a great state going back to that point another principle is that attraction is not a choice this is a phrase from david deangelo the classic dating guru attraction is not a choice that's his phrase so what that means is that your attraction to her is not something you logically chose and her attraction to you is also not something she logically chose a lot of times if you ask women online like on a forum like hey ladies what do you get attracted to they will tell you they'll give you a list of all the sort of qualities they want in their ideal boyfriend but a lot of this is nonsense because in reality a woman doesn't get attracted while she's sitting at a computer answering a logical question nor does she get attracted when she's in a laboratory environment like some scientists or some researchers at the university that you know they invite a few girls over and then they show them pictures of of men with their jaws and their six-pack abs and the sports cars they drive and so forth how much hair they have and whatever and then say okay ladies which of these guys are you most attracted to and then the woman is sitting there and making sort of logical choices this is not how a woman actually gets attracted in real life when you go out to a bar to a club her attraction is not a logical choice and a lot of times she will get attracted to exactly the wrong kind of guy she'll get attracted to the guy who does not fit all of her ideal criteria she might say she wants she's going to be attracted to the most spiritual the most awake the most healthy the most nice the the the provider guy with the most money and who's tall and who has a nice mustache and whatever else she might say all that but then in practice when she's standing at the bar with her friends and she's bored and then you come over and you're short and maybe you don't have as much hair as that guy you don't have a mustache you whatever you're not her type maybe she says she wants a white guy and you're like an asian guy and you walk over there and you're chatting her up but you're funny you're charming your friends are around you you're in a really good mood you know how to dance a little bit you're dancing with her you hug her this sort of stuff you make her feel good better than her friends make her feel and she gets attracted to you that wasn't a logical choice she made and her attraction for you is genuine and from that she will be able to sleep with you whereas from all of that logical stuff if you walk up to her and you just say hey you know what i got a nice car and i got a nice mustache and i got a nice watch i got it i own a house i'm into spirituality i'm very awake all this you tell her all this and she's not gonna get attracted to you even though that might hit all of her points on her logical list because women do not have sex from logic this is one of the other principles the other principle here is never try to logically sell yourself to a woman because women never have sex from logic you cannot logically convince a woman to sleep with you you can't walk up to her and say hey hey baby you know i'm going to take good care of you i'm going to give you so many orgasms it's going to be amazing come on come home with me no she's never gonna come home with you um and this is why when a woman rejects you sometimes as guys you know you you're needy and you're like oh maybe i can convince her through text messages i can convince her that i'm the right guy for her and you start to logic with this woman stop doing that she's never gonna sleep with you from that that's a fundamental misunderstanding of how women have sex she needs to be emotionally stimulated if a woman is in a logical mood if a woman was in a logical mood her entire life she would never have sex with anybody the only time women have sex is when some guy comes along and busts her out of the logical mood that she's in 95 of the time throughout her day you know 95 of time she's logical and then that five percent window she's emotional when the guy is being charismatic and funny and witty and charming and flirty she gets a little emotional about it then he starts to physically escalate she gets more emotional she gets turned on and then she has sex and even then if if her logic kicks in she will not have sex with the guy you know if her logic says oh i'm going to be a [ __ ] if i sleep with him i was like oh my friends are watching me or it's like oh i got work tomorrow it was like oh i don't know this guy if any of that logic kicks in she will not have sex with him so the guy's job is to disarm all the logic and so the reason that most guys don't get laid is because they're way too logical if you're going to be logical through law of state transference she's going to be logical and then she'll never have sex with you so perhaps the number one thing you can do to get laid more besides just going out and socializing the number two thing you can do you know and also maybe besides approaching you gotta approach maybe the number three thing you can do after going out and approaching is be as emotional as possible with the women that you're approaching and disable all their logic scramble all their logic so a lot of what game comes down to is just scrambling her logic you gotta scramble her mind so that the logic is turned off because otherwise she's not gonna have sex with you and you might say oh yeah that's so manipulative in a certain sense yeah it's very manipulative on the other hand that's what's required for most women to have sex they're not gonna have sex with you for logical reasons and so and also they like it right see a feminine girl likes to feel like she's a girl she spends the majority of her day at work being logical pushing buttons on a computer that doesn't make her feel very feminine so when she goes out to a club or to a bar she drinks she lets loose a little bit she's out of her logical mind due to the alcohol she goes and dances the dancing further puts her out of her logical mind she's making jokes with her friends that further puts her out of a logical mind then you come in there and you start blasting her with some game some you know some flirtation some teasing uh you do a little push pull on her you know spike up her emotions up and down give her some emotional feelings you know play a little bit hard to get this sort of stuff and now she gets really on that emotional roller coaster and then you start escalating on her physically now she gets feelings of you know erotic feelings now she's very emotional now she's ready to sleep with you that's how it works and if you don't do any of that stuff she's probably never going to sleep with you next principle is the three second rule and also the three the thirty second game so the three second rule is sort of old mystery method uh principle uh basically if you see a girl that you're attracted to approach her within three seconds the more you hesitate the worse your approach is going to be so train yourself to approach within three seconds of seeing a girl and really you should cut it down to even less than three seconds but we'll give you three seconds as a newbie uh and the other uh aspect of this is you can play the 30-second game which means you walk into a club or into a bar you don't want to approach you give yourself 30 seconds and at the end of those 30 seconds you got to approach somebody anybody it doesn't matter who and then you keep playing that game anytime you get stuck in your head and you feel like you don't want to approach you play the 30-second game and you force yourself within 30 seconds to approach somebody new and you just keep doing that all night long and you'll see if you do that play this game you can also play it with a friend if you have a wingman out you can both give each other 30 seconds you know alternate you know i give you 30 seconds you give me 30 seconds and we got to approach in those 30 seconds because otherwise you're gonna be making rationalizations and excuses and you'll just stand there for 10 20 30 minutes not approaching anybody and then you're gonna be in such a terrible mood you won't be able to approach anybody the rest of the night and you'll go home and it'll be the worst night of your life so the 30-second game will save you from that the next principle is context sensitivity and calibration so basically all game techniques no matter what techniques you learn are highly contextual requiring a masterful calibration and social acuity that means whatever technique you're using whatever verbal you're saying whatever lines you're using uh if you're doing physical escalation anything it has to fit the context so you have to always ask yourself where am i talking to the girl am i at a loud club am i in a lounge am i in a bar is it like a high energy bar or a low energy bar is the music very loud or is it kind of soft that means we can actually have a conversation am i on the dance floor of the bar or the club or am i in the quiet area am i indoors am i outdoors is it hot is it cold um am i at the mall am i at a cafe depending on all these different contexts certain techniques and lines and maneuvers will work and others will not and so how do you know what fits where you have to you have to fit what you're saying to the girl to the specific situation as much as possible so that it comes out very natural otherwise what's going to happen is that you're going to be like spouting lines or techniques at her but it's going to be so incongruent it's not going to be fitting the situation and so this is what makes games so difficult is that you have to practice it in all these different contexts and you got to see what works in which context certain lines and openers will work in certain contexts but not in others like a physic very physical opener can work great on the dance floor in a very loud nightclub in las vegas but it's not going to work in some sort of loungy bar little hole in the wall bar maybe in san francisco where there's not very loud music and there's not even a dance floor and people are just kind of sitting around and maybe they're part of a very it might like certain places like in vegas for example there's not a lot of social circle type of stuff whereas in many parts of the of the country they have these like little bars and it's very social circle everybody there knows everybody else it's not like a bunch of strangers like in las vegas for example and so you gotta you gotta be cognizant of that so if you're in a location talking to girls where all the girls are part of big social circles everybody knows everybody else you got to play a different kind of game a more indirect kind of game than you would play where everybody's just strangers having fun and it's all chaos there you can just grab girls start making out with them you can't do that when all the girls know each other and it's a more kind of chill environment also during the day there's different expectations of how to hit on girls during the day that at night uh if you're hitting on a girl for example maybe in new york city on the street late at night you gotta understand that like girls are gonna be extra wary of dudes just walking up on the street late at night she doesn't know you could be a [ __ ] thief you could have a gun or a knife or you could be a homeless person like she doesn't know right so you need a certain set of techniques for that specific situation i'm not saying you can't open in that situation you can you can open you can hook in that situation but you're gonna have to be more calibrated right so there if you're walking up to a girl like in some dark alley behind the club as she's walking home and you want to chat her up like you're going to have to have some sort of like disarming techniques like hey don't don't worry you know i'm not a homeless i'm not a homeless criminal or something you might want to open with that kind of line just to disarm her a little bit uh just to show her that you're cool that you understand the situation you got to be sort of aware of her own internal um concerns and fears that she legitimately has as a you know a girl um because sometimes girls can put themselves in dangerous situations you got to like be able to understand what the dangers are for her and then to empathize with those and then to disarm those and to show her that you're not fitting into that kind of stereotype you're not that kind of guy you're not the creepy rapey pushy uh you know criminal whatever guy and that you're very socially calibrated and how do you become very socially calibrated by going out a lot and practicing in various different kinds of environments think of it almost like what you're doing and in fact this is literally true is it's like training a neural network ai neural networks you know they're trained to recognize do image recognition and so forth uh by by iterating thousands of times and then making mistakes then making little corrections fine-tuned themselves and then over time they become really good at recognizing images numbers letters words so forth well that's literally what's happening inside your brain when you're going out week after week month after month for years and you're failing over and over and over again and occasionally you're having successes and then you're you're learning to make distinctions between your failures and your successes and you're training up your neural network you're literally developing a neural network for how to attract women and how to handle all of their objections and you know common excuses and all of their fears and how to make them comfortable and not feel awkward around you so as you're going out you know pay attention what makes her feel awkward what makes her feel scared what makes her feel uncomfortable and then find little strategies for disarming that so that she can feel comfortable with you because she can't have sex with you she's not comfortable with you if she feels awkward with you right make it very smooth and easy and then it'll happen the next principle is congruence congruence means that whatever words are coming out of your mouth they have to be congruent with your own personality and how you feel a lot of times you're gonna be in this great state one night and you're gonna just spout some line off the top of your head something you come up with you know on the moment and it's gonna be the perfect line for the perfect situation for the perfect girl you're talking to and it's going to hit and it's going to hook immediately and it's going to be wonderful and then the next night you go out and say hey you know i remember that line from yesterday that i came up with why don't i just use it again and it'll work just as well right and so you go go up to a different girl now it's a different environment you're in a different mood you're not feeling the way you were feeling before you're not maybe in a high energy state and you deliver the same line the same opener from last night and it bombs and she blows you out what happened well again everything is so contextual it very much depends on what mood you're in what energy you're in like if you're in a very positive playful mood with your friends the things you say will be very uh will will be perceived very differently than if you say those things when you're in a depressed low energy mood none of your friends are around you and you have approach anxiety and you're scared and you're walking up to a girl who's maybe a little bit above your league it's not gonna land the same way a lot of times some of the most flashiest game and some of the craziest most obnoxious openers they can work so well when you're fully congruent with them but then if a newbie says it like an advanced an advanced guy could say it it lands so well but when a newbie says it it just it comes off as creepy and awful that's because the newbie is scared he's not congruent with it so um try to be more congruent that means if you're feeling in a low energy state then you need to have game that works in that state basically you need to have a form of gain that's low energy and a form of game that's high energy depending on like what mood you're in because like let's say you're feeling depressed and you just got out to the club you walk up to some girls and what are you gonna say are you gonna say you're happy no you should sort of own the fact that you know hey ladies you know tonight [ __ ] sucks i had a shitty day i'm feeling depressed you know own it be congruent with how you feel and you know of course that's not ideal ideally you would be in a better mood but if you're depressed then just sort of admit you're depressed if you're shy maybe even admit that you're shy if you're feeling awkward or scared maybe even admit that you're feeling awkward or scared at least that's congruent and then based on that you can kind of build up your state further but if you are depressed or shy or scared and you try to walk up to them and pretend as though you're happy and high energy you're probably gonna bomb that the next principle is build up state and momentum by getting rejected so the beautiful thing about building up state and momentum is that it's not really the successes that build it up it's oftentimes the biggest bombs and the biggest rejections so one of the best things you can do early in the night is get a huge rejection just like walk up to a girl and just like be completely tongue-tied and awkward and have her completely blow you out and then what you notice is that yeah it felt awful for like a second but then as you walk away you realize nothing bad really happened it was just a little bit of awkwardness a little bit of embarrassment and then there's gonna be a sense of like i can relax i can just you know let myself go it's not a big deal that i got rejected it's not a big deal that i said something stupid or embarrassing there's more girls to talk to and um and that builds your state and so a lot of times just the idea in your mind that you have a rejection is a lot worse than the actual rejection itself and so usually rather than trying to avoid rejection early in the night actually embrace the idea that you're going to get rejected and actually sort of look forward to it walk into the club and just tell yourself okay let me get my first big blowout let me just get totally rejected [ __ ] it this relieves the pressure because when you first walk in and you put the pressure on yourself like oh i gotta approach this girl and be perfect you're just not going to be warmed up enough you're going to be tongue-tied and kind of logical and it's going to be kind of rusty it's not going to go so well and so the related principle here is warm-up warm-up sets especially at night time do warm-up sets your first five to ten girls you talk to are just the warm-up so don't judge yourself for the warm-up sets in fact you could say that you know what the first 10 approaches i do tonight i'm not going to judge myself at all i'm not going to place any expectations on this at all i don't have to be suave or charming or funny or flirtatious i don't have to be in a good mood nothing all i have to do is just walk up and talk for the first 10 10 girls and just see how it goes i'm not going to judge myself at all and then after those 10 then i can start to put a little bit more expectation on it where i'm actually going to try to be a little bit more flirty and fun because i'm going to be now i'm going to be warmed up the first 10 or just warm up because otherwise you're going to walk in there you're going to expect yourself to be perfect on the first one and it's going to put way too much pressure on you and then you're going to delay and hesitate and not make that first approach for a whole hour because you're going to be like stuck in your head thinking about what should i say to make it perfect to avoid the blowout just get blown out get blown out 10 times and then you'll relax and then you'll be able to move forward the next principle is become comfortable in your own body this is actually closely related to that idea of law of state transference because if you're tense in your body if you're uncomfortable in your body she's going to feel that off you it's going to come through in your body posture and even in the the flow of the words that are coming out of your mouth this this is related to how tense you are in your body how how how you're carrying tension in your face in your neck and everywhere else so just practice practice going out and just relaxing and being completely at ease the way that you would be at home but like in a loud nightclub because usually when you walk into a light now into a loud nightclub you're not going to be as at ease as you are at home on the couch watching tv you need to be that at ease you can't do a good approach if you're fearful anxious stiff tense or stuck in your head so practice just relaxing and you can practice relaxing completely relax your body until you're completely comfortable you're at ease you have no thoughts in your head you have no tension in your body you're not stiff or anxious and then from that place immediately do an approach and you'll notice that it goes a lot better the next principle is clear your mind as you approach so you're going to spend a lot of time probably thinking a lot analyzing your game thinking about what could i have said better which line could i have used uh what went wrong in my approach what should i say next and so forth you can do all that when you're not doing the approach you can do that when you're at home later in the night when you're out of the club you can do that you can analyze your sets and you should and you can look for ways to fine-tune stuff but when you're in the club your only objective should be to have fun when you enter the club forget all about your lines forget all about what went right or what went wrong the other night forget all about analyzing your approaches forget all about all the logical stuff completely throw that out when you're in the club clear your mind as much as possible and especially when you're beginning to do the approach like you see a girl you're gonna walk up your feet are moving to walk up to her completely clear your mind you don't want any ideas of like what should i say should i say this thing or that thing remove all that you want to as you approach just instinctively react you're going to be reacting you're going to be completely in sort of unconscious execution mode and you don't want any thoughts interfering with that so practice that this is very counterintuitive because as you're approaching her you think that you can get an advantage and that you're going to have a better approach by pre-planning what you're about to say you're going to want to pre-meditate you're going to want to like script it out like well first i'm going to tell her hey how are you then i'm going to tell her oh i think you're cute then when she responds in a positive way then i'm going to say blah blah blah blah then she's going to say this and i'm going to say that and oh and then and then it's going to work you think that that's going to be your best approach but that's not your best approach that's going to be a shitty approach so counterintuitively have to let that go and just trust on your sort of uh spontaneous ability to intuitively run your game on her now your game might even be bad if you're a newbie your intuitive game might be very bad but over the months as you're developing it it's going to get better and better and better you're going to be able to trust in it more and the less pre-planning you're gonna have to do and then the more natural and authentic it's gonna feel and then the more girls will get hooked the next principle is chill and friendly method versus flash game a lot of what you see you can you can find in field of game on the internet uh and a lot of what you find on the internet is this very flashy sort of game where guys are just grabbing girls saying obnoxious things to them using like weird funny absurd openers and uh you know doing these almost it's almost like stunt game it's like you're stunting you're performing for not the girl it's like for the youtube audience a lot of pickup videos online it's just it's not for actual girls it's not good game it's for dudes on the internet who have never approached a girl in their life and are just looking for like some sort of um stunts to entertain themselves with that's not the best game the best game looks very simple it's so simple it doesn't look like game so we call this the chill friendly method so of course there's room as you're exploring game there's room for flashy game i've done some flashy game especially like if you're in a place like vegas you can you can get away with some pretty crazy obnoxious flashy game and sometimes it works and it can be fun it can put you in a good state but this is not a very consistent way to hook girls the most consistent ways are actually kind of boring looking they look more just like friendly and chill you're not grabbing girls and telling them obnoxious [ __ ] things you're just kind of friendly and chill but at the same time there's there's sexual intent clearly in your eyes and uh it's obvious this is a man-to-woman communication but it's friendly it's chill it's easy going nothing crazy is happening you're not saying some obnoxious lines you're not talking about sex and you're not talking about um anything absurd uh it's just like chill and normal and you're not you know you're not sticking your tongue down her throat you're not groping her tits like it none of this is really necessary to get good results and in fact you want to tone that stuff down because a lot of that stuff will trigger defenses in the girl and in her friends so friendly and chill try doing a month of just friendly and chill game and also try doing a month of flashy game and see which one works better you might be surprised at what you discover the next principle is do not supplicate do not chase and do not brag to women if a girl is let's say you're talking to a girl and then she turns her back on you and she's walking away from you don't chase her in that situation you clearly failed to hook her into a tractor if you hooked her and attracted her she would not be walking away from you you would not need to chase her down now of course if you have to chase her down to open her in the first place to approach her let's say a girl is walking very fast it's okay to to walk after her fast and to get her to stop you know to approach her to do the approach that's fine but then if she's walking away from you don't persist in chasing her trying to like be very pushy with her don't do that your goal is not to force yourself on her your goal is just to attract her if you attract her she will come to you she will stick around she will look at you she will ask you questions there's no need to brag to her either because again when you're bragging the the fundamental problem there is that you're assuming that she will get attracted to logical things that you're saying that's what bragging is logical stuff you're saying girls don't get attracted to logical stuff so you're misunderstanding attraction there she's gonna get attracted to how you make her feel with the witty things you say and how humorous you are that's what she gets attracted to not to the logical words of what you're talking about the logical words of what you say to a girl virtually don't matter this is a huge principle the logical words don't matter it doesn't really matter what you're saying it matters how you're saying it it matters the mood that you're in and it matters the mood that it puts her in so if you're saying logical stuff and it's very boring and she becomes bored and you're a boring guy there's not gonna be any sex and the problem there is not the specific words it's the fact that it was all boring and if you're saying some obnoxious things you might even be saying some sexist things you might be even saying things that are just downright offensive or even racist but because they're emotional and because they're funny and you're not being serious about them when you say them that puts her in a fun emotional state in a humorous state makes her giggle it makes her playful too and it works great even though the things you might be saying are just ridiculous absurd obnoxious they make no logical sense whatsoever that's what makes games so fun is that you can be completely illogical with girls and it's just it's just fun and i mean a lot of times as guys we spend so much of our of our day in logical mode that we make our speech so logical that if something isn't logical we don't even say it and this was what trips us up and this is why we run out of things to say a lot of times with girls is because we're looking for like logical things to say that make sense and have a a reason behind saying them um and if you talk like that to a girl all you're going to do is just put in a logical mood and it's not going to go anywhere another principle is be polarizing not all girls should like you express emotional range and when you genuinely feel negative about something express that negativity if there's something you don't like about her express that now of course you don't want to be mean like if she has a big nose you don't need to tell her oh you got a big ugly nose that's not what i'm telling you i mean you know still in a sort of a playful fun way um if there's something about her you don't like let's say she says she's an accountant and you don't like accounts you don't have to pretend like oh oh you're an accountant oh that's so nice this would be supplicating this would be sort of putting on a fake front in order to uh maintain her attraction uh rather you know if you don't like accounts you say oh you're a [ __ ] accountant you're going to hell you know in a in a playful funny way like that um express your genuine negativity about that it's important that you're not just pulling the girl in but that you're also pushing her away at the same time this is known as push-pull so one of the problems is that if you're very needy you might like come in there everything you're saying or doing it's trying to get the girl to to get pulled into you like you might be pulling her in physically you might be hugging her the things you might be saying like compliments every compliment you give a girl that's pulling her into you in the sense that it's showing that you want her and it's like come to me come to me come everything you're saying is like it's all about come to me be with me be my girlfriend this sort of stuff but this becomes too needy this repels girls so you throw out a little bit of that of you know like come to me you might hug her but then as you hug her you might also push her away a little bit as well you might give her a compliment you give her a compliment but then also you take it back a little bit you might say you're cute sort of right the sorta takes it away a little bit it's like oh you're cute but maybe you're crazy it's like you're cute but are you also smart right so it's like a lot of attraction is this kind of tension that builds where you're not completely direct with her that you want her you throw signs that you want her that you're attracted to her but then you also take them away a little bit so that she's a little bit confused and ambiguous as to whether you truly want her and like her and then this gets her interested and then this gets her trying to chase you a little bit and that's very important she needs to feel a little bit like she's chasing you a wing of mine made this really great analogy he said girls are like cats and game is like a cat toy so you know when you're playing with a cat toy with a cat you don't just plop down the little cat toy in front of the cat just leave it there the cat isn't interested in that when you're playing with the cat you gotta like jiggle and wiggle and jerk around the cat toy like this in like these weird motions almost like you know some sort of like wounded prey you gotta like move it around a little bit and the cat gets excited and then the cap pounces this is uh the perfect uh metaphor for game the next principle is physical escalation as soon as possible so begin touching her in non-sexual ways right off the bat and then keep amping that up probably from for most of you newbies you should escalate faster and sooner than you feel comfortable just to see how much you can get away with of course you can overdo it but as newbies you want to practice this you'll be amazed at how fast you can escalate so test that out practice it uh you want to become a kind of guy who's just touchy with everybody don't just touch girls touch guys too every time i'm going out i'm meeting wings and friends out at the club i'm high-fiving them i'm holding you know i'm slapping them over the shoulder i might slap their ass you know whatever guy friends um uh i i might take them like this i might shake them um just so that i put myself in this sort of touchy mode and then i feel comfortable touching other guys i feel comfortable touching like if there's a security guard i can walk over just put my hand on his shoulder right like you just get comfortable touching guys and girls both in non-sexual and sexual ways become a sort of like naturally touchy guy such that you're not even thinking about touching people you just are in a sort of just a friendly way and then when you're talking to the kind of girl you like and you're attracted to her and she's attracted to you you reach hook point then you can amp that up and make it more erotic and sexual and it'll work great and it'll feel very authentic and just natural and she'll just perceive you as a touchy sort of guy you know just like a very kinesthetically friendly sort of guy the next principle is lead her and test for compliance so leading her i know when i started i thought that leading her was so hard but actually you gotta like baby step it so you open a girl you talk to her for two minutes even after two minutes just try this talk to her for two minutes and then get her to just move two feet to the left or to the right for whatever reason you know like oh there's somebody you know we're standing in the path of people here here just move over here or it's like oh there's a bench right here let's walk over to the bench it's like five feet away get her to sit down on the bench maybe there's a bar area that's a little bit less crowded it's like hey it's you know it's too crowded here let's walk over here it's a little bit quieter uh or hey like you know we're indoors there's a balcony let's go walk to the balcony let's look at the view of the balcony it's nice over there and just move her and see how fast you can do that you should be able to do that within two or five minutes especially if you reach hook point you'll be able to do that so just like baby steps move her a little bit and see if she's compliant or not if she's not if she resists then that you know you have problems there you're not you haven't attracted her enough um but as your game gets better you'll see she's going to become more compliant because she trusts you more she's more comfortable with you she's more attracted to you and then try try leading her even further and see how far you can get away with it so just this is all about reminding yourself because a lot of times you go in and your mind is so focused on doing the approach and your opener and all these other things you got to do that you forget to lead at all and you can just stay stuck in that set talking to her in the same spot for an hour and you might say yeah that was a great set i talked for an hour yeah it was that it's good that you talk to her for an hour that's that's an achievement but really you should have moved her within five minutes within an hour you should have moved her like five times already and you probably forgot so make sure you go the next time and uh start moving her much earlier because it's awkward to stand there for for 60 minutes talking not moving and then finally after that you're like okay come home with me it's not gonna happen it's way too big of an ask it's way too big of a gear shift you gotta slowly bounce her around and get her comfortable following you around the next principle is err on the side of making a move rather than not making a move so a lot of times guys go on a first date right you're on a first date and then you're walking with her and maybe you sit down on a bench and it's like oh this might be a good time halfway through the date to make a kiss but i don't know is she ready for a kiss i don't know and then you're hesitating in your mind should i kiss her now or should i wait five minutes maybe it'll be a little bit easier in five minutes and then you wait five minutes and then five minutes later it's like ah but now it's not the right time we're both walking and it's an awkward position to kiss her in so i'll wait another 10 minutes and then 10 minutes come by and then you have other excuses and you're hesitating and hesitating and hesitating and then you get to the end of the night and like okay i'm going to do it for sure at the end of the night when i'm walking her back home and i walk her to her doorstep that's when i'm gonna kiss her for sure and then you walk her there and then you chicken out again because there's some excuses like oh well her friend was texting her so i didn't have a chance to kiss her because she was looking at her phone this will happen to you if you hesitate so you need to train yourself when it comes to leading women to just make a move if you feel like making a move if you feel like kissing her if you feel like now's probably the right time to kiss her kiss her go for it even if she rejects you go for it rather it's better than than waiting for some better time in the future don't second-guess yourself that second-guessing and hesitation that's what's killing you it's making you anxious and is putting you in your head you want to be acting from a spontaneity so if you spontaneously feel halfway through the date that you want to kiss her go for it and if she rejects you that's fine you can try again in five minutes this of course doesn't just apply to kissing this applies to everything this applies to moving her for example if you're talking to a girl for five minutes and then you feel like ah um i think i can move her to the balcony ah but maybe she won't go with me ah but maybe i should talk to her for 10 more minutes before i ask her no take her to the balcony you already got the feeling the urge to take her to the balcony that intuition arose to take her to the balcony now take her to the balcony if she rejects you she refuses fine she rejects you just stay where you are and keep talking to her try again in five minutes likewise you might be with a girl talking to her for 20 minutes and then you get the feeling like hey these girls are interested in dancing maybe her and her friends want to dance i could take them to the dance floor we can all dance together but i don't know maybe they won't like that maybe it's too early maybe i gotta kiss her first before i take her maybe they gotta get a drink first maybe they gotta go to the bathroom first maybe i gotta do something else first maybe i gotta check my text messages no you already got the idea to take her to the dance floor don't second-guess yourself don't hesitate just grab them and say hey let's go dancing take him to the dance floor likewise now you're on the dance floor you've been dancing for 30 minutes and it feels like you know what i'm getting a little tired on the dance floor it's getting a little bit boring here we've been dancing for 30 minutes i should take him outside the club we've been here now for a few hours it's getting late in the night it's time to go outside let's get some pizza outside but then in your mind you're hesitating like ah well but will they really go with me do they trust me enough maybe they want to dance some more maybe we should dance for another 30 minutes maybe we should go to the bar maybe i should get my friends maybe i shouldn't go for pizza but maybe we should go straight back to my place like no go for the pizza that was your initial urge take him out of the club go for the pizza and if it doesn't work then you improvise if something doesn't work you improvise based upon that you don't pre-plan ahead of time so a lot of what game teaches you is that you stop planning too far ahead because reality will shatter all of your plans it's way too chaotic at night to have these long perfect plans you got to be able to improvise on the spot and that means acting on hunches and intuitions and then if those are wrong you adjust you calibrate and then you you go based on new intuitions and new hunches and over time those hundreds of intuitions will become very solid next principle screen her and have standards don't adopt the frame that you're gonna sleep with anything in the club anything that wants to sleep with me i'll sleep with that's a terrible frame you need to have a frame of like there are certain things i want in a girl in order to enjoy sleeping with her and i'm going to screen her for those things before i sleep with her the next principle is abundance mindset don't get stuck on any one girl some nights you'll go out and you'll meet what you'll think of is like the perfect girl that girl is the perfect girl for me and you talk to her for five minutes and then whatever her friends grab her away and pull her away and you never see her again and then you spend the rest of the night thinking about oh that girl was the perfect one i'll never find one that good again it was she was so rare rather than wasting time thinking about that stuff go talk to other girls trust that if you keep going out night after night after night you'll see better and better and better and better girls there's never gonna be a night where you see one girl that's so perfect that you're never gonna see her again and there's ever gonna be any other girl ever in the world that's gonna be better than that no you need to if you're living in a big city uh if you move to a big city with a good night life you'll see literally hundreds and thousands of amazing girls this abundance mindset is important because then you're not placing too much importance on any one girl and you're not being too needy in your approach and if she blows you out or she rejects you or her friends drag her away you're not gonna be butthurt about it wasting time thinking about it you're just to move on next principle minimal investment until sex the problem is that women have almost no investment in men before sex this is a problem for men because for us we get way too invested in doing the approach and we have because we have to put a lot of time and energy into doing approaching so this puts a lot of investment up front and then what happens is that usually the women don't have sex with us they flake us and whatever else they don't show up to the date they don't respond to the text message and so forth so what you're going to learn is that as a newbie you're going to invest all this emotional energy into every phone number you get every girl you talk to every set that hooks every girl that you go on a date with um you're gonna invest a lot of emotional energy in this a lot of hope you're gonna think oh this is the one it's gonna work this is gonna this is gonna be a close and then what you discover is that 90 of them never pan out and so you just invested a lot of energy into nothing and in fact the fact that you got so invested this is one of the reasons it didn't pan out because you were too needy you were texting her too much you were complimenting her too much you were supplicating too much and so forth so what you need to do is just lower the investment into every interaction to as close to zero as possible until the girl shows signs that she's invested in you and really until she has sex with you because the reality is that all you're doing is actually you're matching her level of investment the reality is that until a girl has sex with you she has almost zero investment in you uh you mean to her probably less than a zit on her ass that's the reality uh this is why girls don't text you back they flake on you they don't show up to a date whatever because she's just a stranger that you met and to her you're just a stranger and you mean nothing to her uh after sex you will mean something to her and then you can match your level of investment so so basically the the idea is that you want to be at roughly the same level investment as she invests more into you you can invest more into her but don't go creating the situation where you've invested three months pursuing a girl and she's invested zero into you she barely thinks about you you've been dreaming about her for three months this is a horrible situation it's never going to work out the next principle is enjoy the process and have fun this is so important you can't just grind it through you can't because you're going to be doing this for years or for months for you know hundreds of nights if it's a grinding challenging process for you you're going to quit you need to have fun and one of the things that will help you to have fun is to have fun wings and guy friends who you go out with and do this stuff with the next principle is stick it out to the end of the night so this is actually very important because most of your success will come when you stick it out to the end of the night in most cities the nightlife lasts from about 10 pm to 2 a.m it depends on the city in vegas it lasts from about i would say 10 p.m to 4 a.m and then also during the day time there's day parties so anyways vegas is basically around the clock um but that's unusual most cities are from 10 a.m to 2 a.m so if you go out stay till the closing time stay until 2am don't go leaving at midnight or at 1am because most of your results will come probably in the final hour of the night this is when girls are partied out and they're looking for fun they're looking for sex some of your best opportunities will come here and so some of my best nights actually started out as some of my worst nights where early in the night things weren't going well i wasn't feeling in a good mood and i wanted to go home and i was just telling myself ah you know i should take it easy i should you know i've been going out all week and you know tonight is a is sunday night you know uh it's what does it matter if i go home a few hours earlier it's no big deal there's not a lot of girls here anyways to open so i'm just gonna go home early i've had a lot of nights like that and then what i do is i say no i'm [ __ ] staying till the end and then as soon as i make that decision and i stay for another five or ten minutes i end up hooking a girl and it goes amazingly and it makes the whole night it turns the entire night around so the difference between a horrible night of no action versus an amazing night which gives you crazy reference experiences and great learning opportunities and great results that difference can be razor thin that difference can just be the difference between deciding to stay till the end or quitting early that difference can just be the difference between one single approach you know a girl is walking by and you're kind of hesitating like should i open her or not and you say oh [ __ ] it i'll open her you grab her in and she's fully into you start making out with her and it hooks immediately right that difference can be razor thin so um never underestimate the power of persistence in this game you got to be so persistent do not let yourself off the hook with excuses approach every girl without hesitation that you want to approach that you find attractive and stay till the end of the night make the most of the night as long as there's girls there to approach keep approaching don't go home early some nights you'll feel so terrible you want to go home early and some nights you will go home early and it'll be a very shitty night and other nights you will want to go home early but you'll force it anyways and you'll have amazing nights and through this process you will learn the importance of sticking out it out to the end and the final principle is that this is about growing your skills it's not about sex take your mind off the sex now sex is great and all that and you should have the intent to close that is important if you have that sexual desire definitely use that to fuel this process but this is not about sex really this is about growing yourself as a man this is about confidence building confidence this is about becoming more social these are much higher principles and goals than sex all right here's a list of the biggest newbie mistakes first not going out and making excuses for why you're not going out watch your excuses very carefully because your mind will concoct hundreds of excuses like oh well i'm feeling a little bit sick i got the sniffles i'm feeling a little bit tired i got work tomorrow you know i've been going out all week so don't i deserve a day off your mind will make all these excuses like oh my friends are not coming out so i'm gonna i'm gonna stay in too because my friends aren't coming out you know i got a date in two days so i don't need to go out i mean your mind will come up with so many excuses the other mistake is a victim mentality and blaming others for your lack of results there's nobody to blame here but yourself so watch out for your victim mentality about how it can't work this and that the next mistake is the crippling self-doubt and negativity closely related to the victim mentality and sub points here are obsessing over your look stop obsessing over your looks and stop doubting the process these are probably going to be the two biggest doubts you're going to have in this whole process is that as you're not getting the results you want you're going to keep going back to your looks and you say oh it's my looks it's because i'm bald it's because i'm too skinny it's because i'm not muscular enough i'm too fat i'm you know i'm too black i'm too asian i'm too brown i'm too hispanic i'm too introverted or i don't have a symmetrical enough face i don't have a good enough beard i don't have a big enough jaw you're going to keep coming back to this because your mind wants excuses for why you're not getting results and it's hard to admit to yourself that the reason you're not getting results is because you're not taking enough action and that you're just not very good at game it's easier to blame your looks so watch out your mind's going to keep coming back to that even once you get good you'll have nights where nothing hooks and you'll be like ah it must have been my looks and then the other point here is the doubting the process you might start to doubt the entire process you say oh this is not going to work it's not for me this is for other guys but it's not going to work for me because i'm different i'm special i have unique problems that other guys don't have it's just all a scam or whatever uh next biggest newbie mistake is not approaching making excuses for why you can't approach that girl and you can't approach this girl she's with a dude and that girl has some friends around her and that girl's on her phone and that girl has a drink in her hand and that girl is tying her shoelaces and this girl is doing something else and so i can't approach anybody watch out for that uh the next biggest newbie mistake is one itis what's called one itis basically getting stuck and obsessed on one girl thinking that oh that's the one perfect girl how do i get that girl and putting all your focus energy on just that one girl rather than trying to get good with girls in general the way you get that girl is by getting good with girls in general and honestly just forget about that girl she's not as special and magical as you think she is the reason you feel that she's so special is probably because you're not going out and you're not approaching and you're not seeing the full abundance of all the other girls that are out there because when you see that you're going to forget about your one girl you're coming at it from scarcity um now of course occasionally you will meet a girl who's really exceptional you connect on a very deep level yeah occasionally you'll get that and you know what happens when you get that usually you're gonna act all needy and obsessive about it and she's gonna blow you out so the less needy you are the more chances you have of actually landing and closing that one special girl that you will occasionally meet if you go out a lot the next biggest newbie mistake is reading too much theory i've talked about this already you want to be maybe spending 10 of your time on theory and 90 of your time in the field actually practicing the next biggest newbie mistake is a meek approach doing a half-ass approach i talked about this in part two when you approach you must definitively decide that you are approaching and you go a hundred percent not ninety percent one hundred percent you walk up fully committed to opening that girl you get her attention you make sure you get her attention and you you open her firmly like you believe it's going to work watch yourself for half-assed approaches and don't let yourself get away with that the next big newbie mistake is looking for the perfect pickup line or opener thinking that some pickup line will get you laid it won't what gets you laid is your ability to vibe with the girl over a period of an hour or two no single line will get you laid in fact the verbals of any line you say don't matter and you can test this out by testing out stupid openers for example go out tonight and open every girl with an opener like i hate facebook and you'll see that it doesn't matter whether you open girls with i hate facebook or you know i hate elvis presley or i hate donald trump or i hate vegetables or i hate alcohol it doesn't matter which of those lines you use they will open about the same as long as you're congruent with your delivery what's going to matter is the congruence of your delivery your posture your vocal tonality your eye contact that's what's going to matter not the actual words that you say so much and so you can test that out now of course if you walk up and you say some uh really obnoxious verbal line like i want to [ __ ] you that will probably not go so well for you so yeah you want to avoid certain lines certain sexually explicit or very vulgar lines like that which will probably immediately get you blown out although they could also work once in a while too you never know sometimes some of the craziest lines work um but you want to be careful with those so i mean yeah verbal content doesn't matter so long as it's not like completely obnoxious and just completely sours the vibe and the mood of the interaction the next biggest newbie mistake is poor body language poor vocal tonality poor eye contact and no smile these are actually the things you got to work on the most these are the fundamentals that get you the most results in game not the verbals themselves the next big mistake is a stiff body and not being comfortable in the club being in a state of anxiety while you're in the club being stuck in your head overthinking things while you're in the club the next mistake is running out of things to say this is huge i'll have more points to make about this a little later in this episode the next problem is ejecting too early everything is going great but for whatever reason you just want to grab the phone number and eject because you don't want to screw it up by staying in there longer this is a big mistake watch yourself like a hawk ejecting and force yourself to stay in there the next mistake is being too nice and too friendly the next mistake is being too needy too thirsty and over investing in the girl all pull but no push the next mistake is asking too many interview style questions being too logical being too serious asking her the like most common question of like where are you from where do you work what do you do why are you here and just keeping the conversation in that interview mode the next biggest mistake is trying to be her formal boyfriend setting that frame as you approach her it's like i'm going to be your boyfriend i'm going to buy you flowers i'm going to take you on a date i'm going to take you to a restaurant we're going to be begin this long courting process no set the player frame even if you want to be her boyfriend still start by setting the player frame get her attracted first then once she's interested in having sex with you then you can move towards the boyfriend frame and really you should wait until she actually has sex with you before you start going to the boyfriend frame because what you'll find is that if you set the boyfriend frame too early most likely she's not gonna get attracted to you she's not gonna have sex with you and even if she does it's gonna take a long long time days and weeks it'll take uh the next mistake is being too sexually explicit and making sexual jokes that blow you out of the set being too vulgar so watch out for that the next mistake is being inauthentic trying to act alpha acting macho acting more cool than you really are trying to impress her bragging qualifying yourself uh actually what you should be doing is in a funny way disqualifying yourself telling her how bad and lame you are like if she asks you what do you do you can tell her uh i scrub toilet to taco bell that would be a way of disqualifying yourself rather than telling her that oh i'm an attorney or a doctor that makes six figures tell her you scrub toilets at taco bell next mistake trying to logically convince her into sex this is not going to work stop doing that next mistake not physically escalating right off the bat resulting in a sort of a creepy physical escalation later on the next mistake is hesitating when making a move we talked about this earlier when you want to make a move make the move if you want to kiss or kiss her if you want to hug her hug her if you want to touch her touch her and then if you make a mistake ask for forgiveness later apology you could always apologize if you make a mistake if you over escalate you can always apologize and dial it back you're much better off doing that than just doing nothing and just waiting because then it shows her you don't have balls and you're not leading and you're not confident and you're not assertive and that's what women need the most from men is confidence assertiveness leadership the next mistake is trying to hide your raw attraction from her if you're sexually attracted to her genuinely let her feel it the next mistake is being too gamey being too much of a clown or a dancing monkey or being too edgy saying things that are just kind of flashy and obnoxious and edgy just for the sake of saying them your best game is not going to come from this your best game is going to come when you're just kind of more chilling normal and then occasionally you can sprinkle in a little bit of a uh like a little something edgy or a little bit something kind of like outlandish here and there but you just you sprinkle it in it's got to be the spice not the main dish the next big mistake is not being socially calibrated just not being attuned to what the social situation is for example you walk up to a group of girls and you start talking to only your girl but you completely ignore all the other girls who are her friends you don't ask her how she knows the friends you don't try to befriend the friends you don't you don't you're not like attuned to the social dynamics of that situation of that group and then in the end they end up the friends end up blowing you out because you you weren't paying good enough attention to what's going on there the next mistake is not going for a close try to go for a close with every set that hooks stick in there if it hooked she's attracted to you see how far it can go even if like you're not even interested in having sex that night just see how far you can take it you need that experience for those times when you actually do want to close have the intent to close don't just be going out there to collect phone numbers don't just be going out there to socialize don't just be going out there to flirt but not close you need to get good at closing the next mistake is asking women for attraction advice don't ask women for attraction advice most women don't understand what they're attracted to the only people who understand how attraction really works are those guys who've gone out and done it hundreds and thousands of times women will oftentimes give you just their over-idealized mythological ideas of how attraction should work or what she wants in a boyfriend this is not what you need to understand how to attract her to be your girlfriend these are very different things and so women will mislead you in this regard which is not to say that women can't give you some you know relationship advice they can it's not to say that women can't have insights into femininity or masculinity they can there's value in in studying and reading that stuff like if there's some dating book written by a woman fine you can read that but like when you want to know how to really attract a girl at a bar or club don't go asking women to tell you how to do that the next mistake is or before i move on to the next ones a little bit more about this point so like let's say a girl was attracted to you but then she lost attraction for you and then so you text her and you ask hey why did you lose attraction for me like what happened why why aren't we dating why don't you have sex with me and you want to logically ask her like you know like for advice on how to improve um her advice is not going to be good advice for you that's my point um her advice is gonna be from her point of view not from your point of view and there are different agendas here the male agendas and the female gender they are at odds and so just um stick to the fundamentals of game this stuff has has been figured out by guys right you don't need to you don't need to go reinventing the wheel we know how it all works and you'll know how it works by going out and testing this stuff the next mistake newbies make is quitting after less than a thousand approaches at least reach a thousand approaches before you judge this process it takes quite a while to understand how this all works because it's so deeply counter-intuitive and it runs against the grain of society culture what you've been taught your own ideas your whole nice guy frame it goes against all that the next biggest newbie mistake is not moving to a big city we've talked about this in previous episodes the next biggest newbie mistake is getting too invested before sex hanging your hope on that one particular girl like you got a phone number and maybe even she's responding to your text messages and you're like oh yeah this is it this is it i'm gonna have sex with this girl then you start daydreaming about having sex with her and you start fantasizing about it maybe you start jerking off to your fantasies of having sex with her and you just keep planning the dates and you keep waiting for that day she's gonna have sex with you a few weeks from now and you keep obsessing over it and then she never has sex with you uh the next biggest mistake is buying her drinks and things you don't need to buy girls drinks and other things to get them to sleep with you uh honestly i've never bought a girl a single drink i'm very cheap and actually i probably should buy girls more drinks because sometimes just for logistical reasons uh you want to buy a girl a drink not to get her drunk but you want to buy her a drink simply because if you don't it just it just makes things kind of awkward um and she like if you didn't make it awkward she would have come home with you but just by the fact that you made it awkward by making it a thing she won't because like her mood has been soured it has nothing to do with the drink it has nothing to do with the money it's just sometimes there's like a social awkwardness so sometimes you buy a drink just to avoid the awkwardness but in general you don't need to buy grilled drinks um in fact girls should be buying you drinks um and finally the biggest last newbie mistake is quitting the night early i've already talked about this quitting the night early stick in there to the end all right so how do you get a girlfriend or a wife well attracting a girlfriend or a wife is exactly the same process as attracting a one-night stand there's no difference because attraction is the same thing it everything begins with attraction you can't get a girlfriend or a wife without attraction you understand this so the way to get a girlfriend or a wife is to select her from a position of abundance which means go out there develop your game develop your confidence develop yourself as a man sleep with 10 to 20 girls at least and then from those girls select one girlfriend for yourself and if you want make her your wife and if you do this then your girlfriend will genuinely feel like she is the one for you because this is what girls want girls want to feel like they are your one the special one they don't really care if you slept with 10 or 20 girls or even 50 or 100 girls they want to feel like out of all those she's the one now the mistake a lot of guys make is that they want a girlfriend or wife so badly that they they will select the first one because they have no abundance just any first girl that likes them they're gonna try to fall in love with this is a bad idea because the chances that she's going to be compatible with you personality wise and other factors is going to be quite small and also you don't even know what you want in a girl unless you slept with 10 20 50 girls you don't know what you want in a girl um you don't even know what's possible you don't even know what ethnicity of girl you want you want an asian girl do you want a latina girl you want a white girl do you want a european girl in america you don't even know right what kind of personality do you want to have you don't even know what do you need from a long-term partner you don't even know until you've it a bit and also what will happen is that if you sleep with 10 20 50 girls you're gonna get some of that out of your system you're gonna burn through some of that karma such that when you do find that one amazing girl you can make her your one and then it's gonna feel like you don't gotta be like thirsting after other girls you don't you gotta be you don't have to like be regretting oh did i select her just because she was the first one that i slept with no i selected her out of a out of a deeper sense of experience and abundance that i had um this is gonna this is actually gonna make your relationship stronger with her a lot of guys who only sleep with one or two girls and then convert one of them into a girlfriend they actually have regrets they're they might even be in a great loving relationship with a girlfriend but just because they're so inexperienced they in the back of their mind like their biology is telling them to go out and experience more sexually you're sexually inexperienced but they have this great relationship they don't want to break up this relationship on the one hand they don't want to lose this on the other hand they they feel this kind of like unburned karma in the back of their mind which is bugging them and eventually actually it ends up destroying the relationship a lot of times all right so you don't want to put yourself in that position um you want to be i mean i'm not telling you to be some you know scumbag player that sleeps with hundreds and hundreds of girls endlessly and is never satisfied by any girl that would be a big problem but on the other hand it is also a problem if you're so inexperienced that this makes you needy this makes you immature this makes you kind of insecure about yourself and what you want and also you end up settling with for a girl who you're not fully committed to and then that's not fair to her either because she wants you to be 100 into her not just like a lukewarm 75 now we come to the question of but leo what do i say tell me what to say when i'm talking to girls what's the what are the line what's the combination of magic lines that i say to get her to sleep with me um can you give me some routines and scripts that i can use here's the problem with routines and scripts is that conversation with girls are so chaotic and there are so many different permutations and sort of an infinite branching path of where conversations can go that you can't possibly have scripts and routines for all of them so it's just not sustainable and memorizing all those routines it's a pain in the ass and it's difficult and then when you're spouting them off it's not authentic either so really the solution to this is to sort of bite the bullet and to say that you're going to learn game without routines and the way you're going to do this is you're going to go out there approach approach approach you're going to build state you're going to do warm-up sets you're going to have friends there with you and you're going gonna [ __ ] talk with your friends just have fun when you're at the club you're just [ __ ] talking you're riffing you're flirting um you're just having fun you're you're basically partying you're learning to party you're being random and spontaneous and emotional you're not being logical you're getting out of your logical mind basically you're using your friends to help you do this you're using the music the dancing to help you do this but then also you're approaching and that helps you to build up your state and you're not gonna pre-plan what you're gonna say you're letting go of the whole pre-planned paradigm there's not gonna be some perfect plan that you're gonna execute to get into a girl's pants let that whole fantasy go instead you're gonna fully embrace the improvisational spontaneous nature of game you're going to go out there not knowing what to say and you're just going to throw yourself in and you're just going to like learn to sink or swim a lot of times you'll sink but sometimes you'll swim and sometimes you'll say something clever and witty and it'll work and through this process you will gradually develop your game so rather than having a whole bunch of stuff to say you're going to be putting yourself in the right frame of mind you're going to be building state now with that said here are some tips for how to not run out of things to say because this is what most newbies struggle with i struggle with this still to this day so first of all make observations become very observational this helps a lot make observations about her dress her shoes her face her ethnicity her skin her tattoos her jewelry her earrings the bench that she's sitting on the club that you're at the bar that you're at the country you're in the city you're in the friends who are around her the friends who are with you just make observations about everything very observational and and your observations don't have to be profound they can be rather simple crude and kind of dumb for example it's like you're wearing a black dress it's i mean that's that's like the simplest dumbest observation but it's something it's better than being stuck in your head it's better than having nothing to say at all it's like why are you wearing a black dress that's something or you can say you're wearing a black dress that's boring or you could say you're wearing a black dress what does that say about you or you could say you're wearing a black dress i like it or i hate it or you're wearing a black dress that's so predictable that's so cliche that's like every other girl in this club or it's like you're the only wear girl wearing that that kind of dress right that's something you'll be surprised at how far you can get away with just simple basic observational openers like that i mean you can literally walk up to a girl and say hey did you see those guys over there sitting on that bench there's some guys sitting on a bench that's it that could be your opener that's enough to get a conversation going so don't ignore the power of observation the next way to not run out of things to say is make dumb assumptions like there can be two people sitting on a bench and you can say you can just come up with some dumb assumptions like i bet those two guys are gay lovers you could tell her that uh just a dumb assumption it doesn't have to be true um you can make dumb assumptions about her you look like an accountant you look like a nurse you look like a philosophy major you look like you're clumsy it looks like your shoes are uncomfortable it looks like that dress is uncomfortable uh it looks like those tattoos you have were painful to get you know just dumb assumptions some of them will be true some of them will be false it doesn't matter it's conversation material uh practice that the next tip is stop being logical and just stay stupid things right it's okay when you're at a bar or a club to say stupid [ __ ] things it doesn't have to be smart it doesn't have to be spiritual content amuse yourself with just funny ideas and little games that you come up with to amuse yourself and to amuse other people and your friends [ __ ] talk you know learn what [ __ ] talking is go out with some buddies and just [ __ ] talk all night long you can tell fantastical stories and you can role play you can literally just invent stories on the fly as you're talking to her you can create role play scenarios where it's like hey we're going on a honeymoon you can kind of grab her pull her in lock arms and say let's get let's go on our honeymoon where are we going around the world we're going to plan a trip around the world let's go to hawaii then let's go to the bahamas then let's go snorkeling then let's go scuba diving then let's go on a hot air balloon right like just [ __ ] invent [ __ ] another great way not to run out of things to say is to read some pop culture and news before you go out so pop culture is like what's happening with the latest celebrities what kind of gossip you know what's happening in the news um interesting just little factoids and stuff you could find websites that just do like pop culture news you can read that for 10 minutes on your phone as you're driving out to the club or whatever or you're standing in line for the club you can read some of that stuff and just read one or two articles there and you'll you'll you'll read some interesting factoid about something and then you can bring that up in the conversation for example the last piece of news that i read is that like over 100 000 people in america died last year from opioid overdose that's just it's just a little factoid i could sprinkle that into the conversation that i have if i go out tonight i could say you know i can start a conversation about that topic it's not particularly sexy or whatever but it's it's something it's something to talk about and since it's new it's news it's kind of topical and the person might say oh yeah i heard that too or it's like oh yeah that celebrity did something crazy in the news oh okay yeah i heard that too and we can talk about it and that'll generate some fodder for conversation uh the next way to get fodder for a conversation is talk more about yourself if you have nothing to say you run out of stuff to say and you're very introverted the problem is that you don't talk enough about yourself talk about yourself what are your plans for your life what are your dreams what are you working on are you working on a business talk about that is there some problem in your life talk about that is is there somebody you hate in your life talk about that is there something that pisses you off talk about that did you just get out of a breakup talk about that is there some some crazy thing that your ex did that pissed you off talk about that whatever talk about yourself it could be past stuff or future stuff don't neglect the future stuff talk about your future and your dreams if you're the kind of guy that says you know leo i'm young i'm 21 years old i have not traveled around the world i have very little life experience i don't have interesting stories i haven't done any cool things all i've done is played video games my whole life okay fine so you don't have a lot of life experience to to work with but how about the future how about your dreams talk about that where do you want to travel to where do you want to live what kind of job you want to have what do you want to do with your career how do you want to impact people what kind of relationships do you want to have what kind of car do you want to drive talk about all that [ __ ] with the girl and assume she's going to be interested us introverts we usually tend to not like to talk about ourselves and our dreams and our future and we just assume that people won't be interested in us this is a bad assumption you gotta correct this uh the next way not to run out of things to say is to free associate i've talked about a little bit in part two i've explained what that is so free association practice improv practice uh the next point is watch and listen to infields of guys who have good verbals you can find these infields online on youtube and so forth of guys doing game day game night game listen to their infields listen to their verbals listen to what they're talking about you'll notice that they're talking about dumb things that are not very significant not very logical take notes on that and just dissect it not so that you can regurgitate all their lines but just so you can understand what a nothing conversation really is i mean for me it was difficult because like all the conversations i used to have were very substantive conversations like the kind of videos that i shoot for actually a lot of substance right a lot of insights a lot of depth to it so for me what was very difficult is like just i didn't even have a framework for what it's like to be at a bar or a club and to be talking about absolutely nothing i mean you're talking but it's like verbal diarrhea you're not saying anything of of import or significance or logical meaning it's just it's just pure [ __ ] talk you're saying nothing and yet your mouth is moving how do you do that well you got to listen to that kind of talk and just kind of analyze it and then say well how can i restructure and rewire my mind restructure how my mouth moves so that i can just have like verbal diarrhea talk about nothing essentially but i'm still talking and other people are enjoying it that that's something you gotta learn um another point that will help you to not run out of things to say is make a list and have some of your favorite funny lines make a list of some funny lines that you or your friends develop or maybe you steal them from some infield videos it's good to have a little bit of a repository of some funny lines that you can pull out of your back pocket and just study those you're not particularly trying to like develop a whole routine or like a comedy routine right um you're just kind of inventing funny lines and you're memorizing a few of them that you can kind of like sprinkle into conversations once in a while um you know funny things you can say i'll give you a few of those here in a minute um what you don't want to be doing is memorizing a long sequence of routines this is not good also what you don't want to be doing is like using some sort of very corny canned pickup line like um i don't know you can you can find like really silly and ridiculous lists of pickup lines online don't use any of those instead though what you do want to do is you want to develop a catalog of common responses to common situations because what you'll notice is if you go out a lot you're gonna encounter uh quite a few situations to just repeat themselves over like patterns over and over and over again for example girls will tell you oh i have a boyfriend or it's like oh my friends are are in the bathroom i gotta go run to the bathroom or they will tell you that like oh we gotta go get for food or they will tell you oh i'm from california or i'm from brazil or i'm from russia right and you'll keep encountering these situations over and over and over again you'll keep encountering situations where girls are too drunk you'll keep encountering situations where girls drop their phone uh where girls take off their shoes because their high heels hurt at the end of the night um situations where the girl has lost her friend situation where the girl is crying situations where the girl is dancing crazily and lost her balance or whatever and so you want to have some some sort of witty responses to these situations these are not so much pickup lines it's just like look even if you're in a business situation you will have sort of canned responses that you use inside jokes within your business at your office at your workplace with your friends with your family you're gonna have sort of like inside jokes and standard lines that you say to each other when something does somebody does something you know silly or stupid or whatever or makes a mistake and so this is just um i recommend you make a sort of a list of these and you keep compiling it because what happens is that you build good state you go out you have fun and some nights you will be so witty that you will actually come up with like these amazing gems of responses to certain situations that will be very funny and very uh contextual and whenever you come up with something like that write that down that's gold that's comedy gold you write that down you make a whole repository and you customize it for yourself so um here's a a small list of some of the common ones that i use so oftentimes this happens so often at least once a week if i go out i'll see girls dropping their phone on the floor cracking it open and stuff like that so anytime i see a girl drop her phone or her purse or something like that my standard line is this is why we can't have nice things and almost always it gets a laugh great line for that situation uh another line that i like to use is don't be racist and using this line works the best especially if if it's completely absurd and and irrelevant so for example um like let's say i'm talking to a girl and her friend comes over and tries to drag her away to the bathroom i might turn to her friend say to her friend and say hey don't be racist now this makes no sense whatsoever but it's a great way just to scramble the minds like logical mode and it gets people laughing or it's a little bit like shocking it's a little bit jolting it's just it's just unexpected it works really well um of course you don't want to actually accuse somebody of racism that's not what's happening here when you use this line don't be racist you know say it in situations where it completely doesn't apply like you know i might say that you know um let's say i say oh i like eckhart tolle and she says i hate eckhart tolle i might say eight don't be racist and of course you're saying it in a funny way right it has nothing to do with racism but it's just a great response all around um another response that i like is it's okay i'm very gay so the way i might use this one let's say i do a very physical opener on a girl right off the bat you know she's walking it's a dance floor area loud club i grab the girl i pull her in uh you know i'm hugging her and it hooks and it's going really well she's smiling she's loving it you know i'm rubbing her body and then i whisper in her ear i'm very gay it's okay right and this just makes her giggle even more because obviously i'm not gay obviously i'm physically escalating and um and this is just a bit of a like a so it's a pull and a push right this kind of pushes her away and it makes her wonder like is he gay but wait a minute his hands are on my body he can't be he's not acting gay but he's telling me he's gay what's going on here it scrambles her mind it's great um also if she has a boyfriend you can a great line is just to say it's okay just just tell him i'm gay that always gets a laugh another great one is i hate you basically this one's very generalizable and universal you can use this almost for anything she tells you something that you don't like or whatever you just say i hate you but you may say with a smile like i hate you or you can say it very slowly like for example uh actually a very great opener is that a girl is walking by you grab her by the hand you pull her in you smile at her and you look at her in the eyes she's looking at you it's clearly on and then you whisper in her ear i hate you great amazing another one is can't we all just get along that one's great for example you might be talking to a bunch of girls in a group like let's say there's four girls and then sometimes you're talking to girls one of the girls gets a little bit you know dramatic and then like a little bit of a fight breaks out maybe there's a disagreement or something like that and the whole set is getting blown up because one girl is disagreeing with the other girls or she's disagreeing with you and it's a bit of like an argument that's going on and we get and then you can just say hey everybody calm down can't we all just get along and that can be a way to like pacify the situation and to to switch to kind of like switch people's minds in a different state another great line that i like is you're so predictable so like if a girl tells me i ask her where are you from and she says from california i'll say you're so predictable i mean it it's it's stupid it makes no sense right but and you can say that for almost anything anything she tells you can just look at her like this and just nod your head like this and go you're so predictable um another one is you and i would never get along and then as you say that you can push her away so like she might be walking by you grab her pull her in you smile at her she smiles at you you might say you're you might say you're cute but we would never get along and then you push her away a little bit another great line is how dare you and you say it with a cheeky smile how dare you or you can say it serious but then smile at the end like how dare you like that depending on you know what she's saying and you can use it in the most stupid situations like you might say what do you do and she might say i'm an accountant and i might say how dare you uh you just like it's so general you can sprinkle it in anywhere another great one that i like is you just hate me because i'm black so anytime let's say she disagrees with me or she disapproves of something i say like i might say i like meditation or something and she might say oh meditation like no i don't like meditation and i might say you just hate me because i'm black again very nonsensical but it works great um another one is so sometimes when you're like trying to pull a girl home or whatever she might be uncomfortable with you she might feel like you're like she doesn't really know you that that well um she doesn't know if you're gonna rape her or you're gonna kill her or whatever so a great way to disarm that is say don't worry i've only murdered three people and all of them deserved it so a line like that i would sprinkle in like if i'm if i'm walking a girl to my car for example that would be a great line because when we're walking together to my car you know that in the back of her mind she's thinking like where's this guy taking me can i trust this guy right and so the worst thing to do would be say yeah you can trust me it's like no don't you you can ask her like do you trust me and she's like sort of and then you can say you shouldn't or it's like don't worry i've only murdered three people and they all deserved it great line um another one is this one i use for boyfriends so anytime she says she has a boyfriend i try to play it rather than being all butthurt about it and sad i try to play it off funny i say it's okay i'm not greedy i can share is your boyfriend greedy now i don't say that because i intend to steal her from the boyfriend if she has a boyfriend i won't pursue it any further but i still say that line because just because it puts me in an amusing mood and it it makes her laugh too so that we don't end on some like awkward butthurt depressed state where it's like oh you have a boyfriend oh well that sucks i guess i'm not getting laid tonight it's like no don't end it like that end it like you know end it cocky funny it's like it's okay i can share i don't mind sharing you why is your boyfriend so greedy do you want to date such a greedy guy now i'm not saying that because i'm going to steal her from the boyfriend i'm just saying that because it's it's just i'm self-amusing another line that i use is i feel like you're trying to use me for my body this one's great because it it flips the frame and flips the script because usually women say this to men and so you want to you want to preempt that by just flipping it around flip it around on her like um let's say she puts her hands on your body you can use that line i feel like you're just using me for my body another one that i like is just pretend none of this is real so you might be talking to a girl she's laughing or you might even say something obnoxious and then you can you can sort of cut that down by saying ah just pretend none of this is real it's all just a dream it's all we're all we're just in a hallucination don't you know this is all a hallucination here none of this is real um i i would say that a lot of times if i go physical very hard on a girl like if i grab a girl pull her in and we start just like dancing together or something like that and she doesn't even register what like she doesn't even understand what's going on because it happens so fast so she's kind of giggling and smiling and she doesn't even know why i'm dancing with her and then i just kind of like whisper in her ear it's just all a dream pretend none of this is real in five minutes you're going to wake up your alarm is going to be ringing you're going to be back at work and then this just makes her laugh even more uh here here's a line a funny line dumb girls make me depressed in the dick so you know sometimes you want to like spike a conversation by just saying something a little bit obnoxious and just like completely out of left field so uh that would be a good line um let's say she tells me that she's an accountant you know girls will tell you their accountants their nurses their teachers their uh pharmacists their attorneys so these professions are so common that you basically want to have funny witty responses to every most common profession that exists so you meet you'll meet a lot of accountants and cpas so if i meet an accountant then i say something like do excel spreadsheets make you hard uh you know it's better than just saying oh you're an accountant oh that's cool see if you just say oh that's cool that's nice that's boring but when you say something like oh so excel spreadsheets make you hard that's that's something emotional and funny another great line is be gentle with me i'm very shy so this is an amazing line especially when you go physical on a girl and you pull her in maybe you're dancing with her you're being very bold and so then you say the opposite of that you just whisper in here be gentle with me i'm a shy virgin something like that also kind of disqualifies you in it it's the opposite of bragging and then of course when you're saying this it's clear to her that you're the opposite of shy you don't want to say this if you're coming across shy um and here's a final line that i'll give you that's kind of funny that i will use sometimes it's like if i'm talking to a really beautiful girl i'll say i want to shave your head so that other girls here can feel good about themselves so anyways i mean like i'm not telling you to take these lines and to become some sort of line spouting robot i'm just giving you these as examples of like a repository this is just a like a tiny percentage of of of my repository of kind of witty things that i invented or stole from other people whatever um i don't even know where most these lines come from just by going out having friends [ __ ] talking all you know watching infields and so forth you develop this repository of lines and then you use them once in a while when you're out your whole game is not built on these these are things you sprinkle in so maybe like 90 of your game is gonna be completely spontaneous and just whatever comes to you in the moment and then maybe ten percent you're gonna be sprinkling in some of these lines you know to spice things up when the situation calls for it and of course not every situation will call for it and what i recommend is that you make your own list and use these as examples not to just copy them word for word but you know change the words around use these as like a formula you can kind of find the structure within these lines and then use those structures to invent your own lines and your own sort of funny self-amusing phrases that then become part of your lexicon in your repertoire of you know jokes and witticisms that you will pull out whenever the situation calls for it and and what you'll realize is that actually very social people whether they do this consciously or unconsciously they do have this sort of repertoire or repository of lines that they commonly use a lot of business jargon is like this you know even with your family and your friends you you use certain kinds of like lines and in jokes like this and various kinds of witticisms that you've unconsciously developed over years well the same thing is going to happen with your game and why not make the conscious i mean make the process more conscious rather than just leaving it all up to chance this is going to help you to not run out of things to say and what's more important is that it's going to help you to break out of your just logical conversations that's one of the other reasons that i gave you these lines because i want to show you what emotional versus logical conversations like these lines are designed to be not logical but emotional and absurd and obnoxious and kind of outrageous and just fun all right that's basically it for game now let's talk about the ethics of game this is a lot of what is missing from the pickup community and in fact i released an episode maybe five or six years ago called a rant against the pickup community where i was pretty harsh i had some harsh criticisms against pickup and in fact if you go watch that episode and compare to these episodes here you might say well leo it's like night and day it seems like you're being a hypocrite because you said some crazy negative things about pickup in that old video and now you're talking about pick up in a more positive light so what's the deal how do you reconcile these two well i was thinking about this and actually it's it's not so easy even in my own mind it's not easy for me to reconcile high consciousness with pickup because honestly pickup is not high consciousness stuff but then again getting laid and even dating and most relationships are not high consciousness things the dumber you are the more sex you have uh the dumber you are the more you date right very high conscious people they don't they don't have much sex they don't date very much a lot of them also aren't very social so being social is a lot of what being social about is about is just being stupid being stupid going out partying being stupid um now this doesn't necessarily contradict high consciousness per se you can do both um but you have to understand that dating and sex is a survival activity and as a survival activity it's very much like sales or advertising there are dark low consciousness petty selfish aspects to marketing to sales to pick up to dating to sex these are very selfish activities they're designed to be selfish so reconciling it with the highest levels of selflessness and love is not so easy see and don't pretend like women are somehow above game women play games and women can be very obnoxious when it comes to sex and to relationships and they can be very unconscious about how they go about these things so let's not pretend that women are these high consciousness angels that all they care about is love and deep long-term committed relationships no women sleep around women have one night stands women get drunk women party women do ridiculous stupid obnoxious things at the clubs just as much as guys so you know both sides are guilty here and you have to understand that even if you don't learn about pickup there is collateral damage that is done from sex and from dating sex comes with risks the risks are not just stds but the risks are and not just pregnancy but the risks are getting your heart broken emotional entanglements codependency abuse of relationships both from the woman's side or from the man's side um you know toxic relationships cheating on each other jealousy and i mean many relationships consist of these sorts of things most relationships are not very healthy relationships but so i mean so that's sort of like par for the course now the problem is that pickup can take this and kind of crank it up to 11 if ethics are not properly observed so here are some ethical points that i want to make about pickup as you get good at attracting girls you're gonna gain a power it is a power it's like political power the more political power you wield the more opportunity to abuse it and for corruption and so what you got to understand is that sex and power warps your mind and especially when you combine power and sex together the power of being able to get lots of sex this will warp your mind you will the ego will tend to want to abuse this so be careful be careful not to get sucked into narcissism and selfishness as you get better with game because you're gonna get drunk on this power and so that episode where i ranted about the pickup community mostly i was not talking to newbies as much as i was talking to the more intermediate and advanced guys who are into game who game for five or more years and are getting really good results with it and then they become drunk with power and they forget all about ethics and for them it's all about how many lays they can get and it turns into this narcissistic selfish thing where it's just like an endless cycle of sex and more girls and building rotations and harems and this sort of stuff and this i see as being toxic and an abuse of power um there's a fundamental lack of empathy there that i see they're not really thinking about the girl's agenda because they don't need to because their game is so good that normally a normal guy whose game is not good he would actually have to like respect and be careful with the girl not to lose her whereas with one of these like scumbag player types as a really good game he can just treat women as completely disposable objects and not care about their emotions not have any empathy and treat the whole thing very narcissistically and break a lot of hearts because he can just literally go out tomorrow and get a new girl a hotter girl the next week and so on and he already has 10 girls hitting him up every week so he has so much abundance that um it's sort of like being wealthy you know when you're very wealthy you can just waste money and you completely forget about the poor people who live in the world who barely have enough you know just on a few dollars a day they live barely enough to feed their children and you can become very cavalier with your money throwing it away burning it you can even like use 100 bills to light your cigars while children are dying in africa you know you could probably feed a whole village in africa on a hundred dollars for a week and here you are lighting your cigars with hundred dollar bills and so this this this is not a healthy attitude towards money and it's not a healthy attitude towards towards women or towards sex and this is an abuse of the power of game the problem with game is that it's very difficult to learn but once you learn it it's a it's like a super power it's like a nuclear weapon and precisely because it's so difficult to learn what happens is that a lot of guys simply never learn it and therefore they never get the power but those guys who do go through the hell and challenge of learning game then they can almost feel entitled to wield the power and abusive ways because in their mind they can rationalize it as well but i work so [ __ ] hard at this i work so much harder than everybody else therefore i deserve to be able to wield this power however my ego wants to wield it in this narcissistic way i've earned it and this is a mistake i want to caution you against this it's very important that you treat women as humans as conscious beings with no less value than yourself and that you seriously look at the world through their perspective and not just your own and that fundamentally your attitude towards women has to come from a deep love and i think a lot of puas [ __ ] themselves about this because they will tell themselves that they're coming at this from a place of love but really it's a place of narcissism and selfishness it's a sort of a limited narcissistic love for oneself and the ability to get sex but it disregards the agenda of the other person true love is to want for the other what is best for themselves to want for the woman was best for her and i think a lot of puas are in denial about the fact that these p way these puas are not really good for women stop treating women as numbers and objects have compassion and empathy for her feelings a lot of puas part of the process of developing yourself into a player involves shedding empathy and compassion because empathy and compassion makes you sort of a beta nice guy and so actually in a sort of toxic way to get really good with women you have to remove all of your empathy and compassion that can be helpful but it can also become a trap so you're kind of making a deal with the devil here to get lots of sex you you stop having empathy and compassion you stop developing that and or you develop some sort of twisted form of that and then that gets you stuck that becomes a problem you have to be careful not to become jaded resentful or bitter by going through this process of pickup because what happens is that you'll get rejected thousands of times and this can make you jaded resentful and bitter towards women it can make you start to treat them just as objects and numbers simply because you're approaching so much that to you it is just a number it is just a pattern it is just a an object to manipulate this is not healthy and this is not what i am advocating for you have to be careful this is a trap i'm pointing out all the traps here so what's what's challenging is that i wish it was so simple that i could talk about meeting men's needs and dating and sexuality and at the same time making it very high consciousness but the reality is is that these things are are rather at opposite ends of the sort of consciousness spectrum now i'm not saying that your sex can't be highly conscious it can but the reality is that for most guys who are struggling how to get laid they're not thinking about high consciousness sex right and what they need to get good results with women is not some sort of higher consciousness stuff they actually need like very nuts and bolts simple things um a lot of times just like mechanical techniques and so forth to start getting results and so uh i wish there was a way to marry perfectly the higher consciousness you know godly absolute love aspects of reality with getting your sexual needs met but a lot of times these are going to be very difficult to reconcile and there's going to be trade-offs between the two and you should expect that because this is about survival and this is about complete selflessness this is about selfishness getting laid is about selfishness and god is about complete selflessness how do you reconcile these two things in a certain sense this is the whole challenge of of life and of survival that i've talked about in the past a lot and this is not just true with sex but it's true about money it's true with um advertising and sales it's true with business how do you make a really high conscious business that's difficult to do and for most people who are just struggling to pay their bills telling them about high consciousness businesses selfless ways of running a business this is not gonna help them to pay their bills they're not at that level yet they have to do a lot of low conscious business before they can rise to a point of appreciating and doing high consciousness business but nevertheless there are still some ways of doing business which is very unethical and i want to point those out to you because i don't want to be teaching unethical business practices and likewise i don't want to be teaching unethical dating practices either and where do you draw the line between what is and if it isn't ethical this is also very difficult to do you see so i don't really have like clear perfect answers for you here i can just point out the traps and then it's going to be your responsibility to avoid these traps and not get seduced to the dark side here into selfishness and since your sex warps your mind so much you're craving for sex and it's a very deep desire that us men have especially um there's gonna be a tendency for you to sort of backwards rationalize whatever helps you to get lots of sex to rationalize why it's actually good and loving and selfless and godly and conscious and all of this i see this in a lot of puas who are serious players who have slept with hundreds of women they have all sorts of stories and excuses in their minds about what how they're treating women how it's actually all fine and good and even loving so watch out for that trap do not blame women for not sleeping with you no woman owes you sex this is important when women reject you a lot you can start to start to blame them want to blame them for not sleeping with you uh be respectful be friendly be kind don't be a jerk don't be a [ __ ] [ __ ] don't be obnoxious don't be offensive deliberately try to reduce that don't call women [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] and so forth this is not necessary again this is going to put you into an adversarial relationship with womankind as a whole which is not going to be healthy for you don't be creepy don't be cruel don't be hurtful don't be angry don't be obnoxious don't physically coerce women into sex if she tells you no and she's not smiling and she means it and she's firm no then that's where you stop none of this that i've been teaching is anything about coercing her into going home with you if at any point she doesn't want to come home with you you don't take her home another point here is do not take advantage of emotionally broken girls or girls who are too drunk uh i mean the reality is that at night time at bars and clubs most people drink personally i don't but most people do and it's fine to to sleep with a girl who's had a few drinks that's fine that's how most people have sex your parents probably had a few drinks before you were conceived and without those drinks you probably wouldn't be here right now and probably neither would i that's just the reality uh probably if we got rid of alcohol the world's population would probably be half of what it is but there's a difference between just having a few drinks and just being really really drunk to the point where you've lost your cognitive capacities so if you see girls like this then don't take advantage of them i have known some some really scumbag players who would take advantage of girls who are totally drunk and i don't consider that ethical so watch out for that don't do that uh and also i've known some players who will take advantage of emotionally broken girls like i know a guy who would who would hit on girls who were like crying outside the nightclub because they just had a breakup or their friends left them or something like that and they're sort of in a traumatic very emotionally vulnerable state and then this guy would walk up to her and chat her up run game on her and then take her home she's very likely to come home with him because she's in an emotionally vulnerable state he's taking advantage of her um i don't consider this ethical game again you have to look at it from her perspective is she going to regret this later uh is she in a place where she's actually deciding uh in a conscious way that she likes you or are you just really like a vulture taking advantage of a situation and that you really don't care about her well-being uh you're just trying to use her and you know she's just like the lowest hanging fruit that you can find and you find in the night so don't do that try to reduce lie and manipulation and inauthenticity as much as possible reduce collateral damage and avoid breaking her heart her heart so i think a lot of players are are very uh much in denial to themselves about how much they break girls hearts when they kind of like hook them in and then string them along and then eventually just you know leave them out to dry uh do not mislead her about your intentions and what you want with her be clear and upfront with her about it um don't turn pickup into an ideology or an identity don't base your whole life around it don't turn it into a life purpose do not ruin relationships and marriages so what i recommend is that if a girl says she has a boyfriend and it's a serious boyfriend and if she says or she says she's married then just leave the set don't push it further i know some players who will still keep going if she says she has a boyfriend to me this is unethical they rationalize it to themselves by saying that oh well but if she was gonna if she's gonna sleep with me that means she's not really into her boyfriend and therefore it was going to end anyways yeah maybe so maybe that's true but even if that's true it's still not ethical for you to sleep with her if she has a boyfriend you should know better you're not looking out for her best interest in that situation you're just being exploitative just because you can run game on her and make her attracted to you that doesn't mean that you should uh don't brag about your conquests don't do revenge porn sex tapes secret videos of her having sex with you field reports posting pictures of her online and stuff like nude photos like don't do that don't be a selfish [ __ ] treat your girl well don't be a jerk to her so once she's attracted to you and she's sleeping with you treat her well treat her like a princess because you actually care about her a lot of puas they'll like sleep with a girl but then deep down they sort of hate her or they're bitter towards her or they're um they're like vindictive they want to take vengeance on her this is very immature low consciousness and it's going to create a lot of bad karma for you don't cheat on girls this goes back to the point about not misleading her about your intentions so if if she assumes that you're exclusive with her then you shouldn't be cheating on her otherwise make it clear to her right off the bat that you guys are not exclusive so that she knows that you're gonna be sleeping with other girls as soon as possible i recommend that you use game as a way to build deep relationships to find that right girl for you that's really the proper use of game find the right girl for you don't just be endlessly cycling through girls because this is not going to satisfy you anyways what you really want is is deeper love and deeper sexuality and deeper intimacy and you're not going to get that just by having a bunch of one-night stands also i want you i want to encourage you to think deeply about the ethical problems with building rotations and harems so a lot of puas that i know they'll have 10 girls that they see on rotation a bunch of friends with benefits and [ __ ] buddies and so forth and then as they're doing this rotation girls fall out every couple of months then they replace them with new girls and so they just keep a rotation going if your game is good enough you can do this but of course the problem is is that you're exploiting these girls you're not really being honest with these girls you're not being loving towards these girls when you build these rotations and harems um so i don't think that this is a very ethical way to go contemplate the problems with that i recommend that you plan to outgrow cold approach have an exit strategy don't stay in it into your 40s and 50s and 60s have an exit strategy also work on your traumas and your fear of intimacy and commitment a lot of pwas have serious problems with trauma fear of intimacy and commitment you guys need serious work on that it's really holding you back in terms of your evolution on a spiritual level and with ego development the stages of ego development you got to work that [ __ ] out and that's really the reason why you're chasing girls endlessly and you're building these rotations and harems and you're just doing it over and over and over again and you're chasing hotter and hotter girls this is not going to satisfy you and really the reason you're doing is because of unresolved trauma fear of intimacy and commitment and a lack of understanding of the kind of depth of love that is possible with more longer term committed relationships stop chasing after the hottest girls in the perfect tens as though this is what life is about i would actually recommend that you lower your standards for physical attractiveness so that you're settling for a less attractive girl but one that really matches you one that has a really healthy personality one that is spiritual that is interested in self-actualization other things that you're interested in so you can grow together sacrifice a few points on physical attractiveness to get a better personality this is a very worthwhile trade-off some of these hottest perfect 10 type of girls they end up being narcissists they end up having borderline personality disorders or other sorts of crazy problems emotional drama and so forth and that turns into toxic codependent relationships that you don't want to have anything to do with even though she's really hot it's not worth it and lastly do not get stuck in spirodynamic stage orange that's where i feel that most p waves go wrong is that they get stuck in this cycle they get drunk with their power and then they just game endlessly and they just keep gaming and gaming and gaming and gaming with more girls hotter girls and then where is it going they don't have an exit strategy and they just stuck get stuck in stage orange and then they might even study higher stages they might study sage green and stays yellow and and so forth they might even talk about spirituality but fundamentally they are still stuck at that chakra two stage orange place where they're they're basically run by their dick their life is run by their dick you're letting your dick run your life this is not a proper use of game that's not what i'm suggesting and so when a lot of women react negatively against this topic of how to get laid uh this is really what the women are reacting against there's a lot of these ethical problems and this idea that basically they're like leo why are you talking about this why are you teaching guys how to get stuck in stage orange well of course i'm not i don't want to teach guys how to get stuck in stage orange but what you have to understand is that if we don't talk about stage orange then we can't get them to higher stages so ladies i understand your concerns here um but you have to understand also the power that sex has over men's minds it has a much stronger power than it does over women's minds now it has a different sort of power over women you get very attached to a specific kind of guy um after you have a lot of sex with him so that can be a problem for women too abusive relationships all that sort of that can happen with women but with guides it's a slightly different it takes a different form with guys um if they can't get sex that becomes extremely toxic and if they can get sex but then they get stuck in stage orange then it also becomes toxic because just endless sex and nothing higher to it and so i'm hoping that this can be used as a way to go go further so what i'm suggesting for you guys who are great at game or plan to get great at game is that you use it and then you you transcend it transcend it burn through that karma but actually burn through it don't just spend your whole life in a cycle doing the same damn thing over again because then you're not really burning through it burn through it and then transcend it and then come out the other side and then move on to higher things there are much more beautiful things in life than just endless sex with perfect tense and one of the things that makes me saddest about some of my my really good pick up friends is that sure they've had sex with hundreds of girls beautiful girls that i might not even ever have sex with and so forth but uh but the end of the day the kind of love and joy and happiness that i've received through consciousness work and other things that i teach through my channel is orders of magnitude beyond anything that these guys can imagine and so in the end pickup is a pretty low consciousness activity but then again so is most normal sex and most normal dating this is not high level iq stuff this is dumb stuff sex is dumb stuff it had to be because animals have been [ __ ] on this planet long before uh humans developed very advanced brains long before there was language long before there was mathematics long before there was uh you know complex societies and all this kind of fancy technology and stuff there was sex so you got to figure sex is a pretty base thing but at the same time precisely because it's a base thing if you don't get it handled if you don't handle this problem in your life and you're not getting the sex you feel you deserve this is not going to be healthy for you you see so it's all about finding that right balance between survival and the transcendence of survival so we want to help people master their survival so that they can transcend it but not get stuck in it endlessly endlessly chasing more survival alright here are some of my final tips about game that was all the ethics we got the ethics out of the way my final tips firstly use a condom carry two condoms with you why two condoms carry them in your wallet uh always use a condom when you're having sex don't have sex without a condom uh not a good idea you want two because most likely you're gonna have sex with a girl once at night and then if you sleep with her in the morning you're probably gonna have sex with her again especially if she's hot and if you only have one condom you're gonna be very tempted to have sex with her in the morning without a condom also if one of your condoms breaks you got a second backup otherwise you're going to be screwed or you're going to put yourself in a dangerous situation so always have two condoms make sure they're not expired also i recommend that you clean your bed clean your bathroom clean your apartment wherever you live make it nice so you can take girls back there also develop your style your sense of dress buy new clothes get everything tailored and fitted every single shirt that i buy i go to a tailor to get it fitted to me because i'm pretty tall and there's most of the shirts i buy they're not they're not gonna fit very well it makes a big difference it makes you look so much more attractive when your clothes are perfectly fitted and it doesn't cost a lot to fit a a shirt like this costs 15 it's totally worth it get your pants fitted get your vests fit everything fit everything everything has to be fitted so that your physique is visible develop your lifestyle don't just work on the mechanics of game or what lines you say but develop your lifestyle so you have a cool lifestyle that a girl would be happy to be a part of make your lifestyle exciting do interesting things go interesting places travel around go to different cities meet interesting people make interesting friends decorate your bachelor pad so that it's cool so it's unique develop some interesting hobbies so you have something more going for you than just games or video games learn pop culture a lot of the reasons you might not have anything to say when you're talking to a girl is because you're not very well versed in pop culture and pop culture of course is dumb and stupid especially if you're studying spiritual stuff all the time um but still pop culture helps you to relate to others on their level and then what you find is that first when you're relating to somebody you got to relate to them on a shallow level then you can take that relationship to a deeper level it's hard to just begin relating with some stranger on a deep level immediately so pop culture is good for this if you really want to learn game study in-field videos you have to observe how other people actually do game well look at their verbals study it rehearse it not because you're going to copy it word for word but you want to just get the general sense of what's going on and how they're doing it especially look at their body posture their tonality how comfortable they feel in their body how relaxed they are look at all that look at their eye contact look at how they're standing squaring up also of course look at the kind of words they're saying find infield there's a lot of infield you can find online and lastly remember it's not about the quantity of approaches it's more about the quality it's a mistake to just think that just by doing a thousand approaches that will make you good you need to do a thousand high quality approaches to become good not just approaches it's easy to do bad approaches make sure that you analyze why your approaches are working or not working otherwise you could be doing thousands even tens of thousands of approaches but not be getting that much better so quality of approach over quantity of approach is important i fell into this trap myself when i started off i was just i was just counting approaches without thinking about their quality at all maybe for the first thousand approaches and it didn't go so well now i i really don't count approaches unless they're a really high quality approach and i think about what could have made the approach better and what made it fail all right so to wrap all this up how do you know that any of this theory is true of course you test it the claim is that all this stuff is empirical go out and take action now is time for action these three episodes have really given you the big picture of how game works a very realistic set of expectations and all the traps and problems all the common mistakes you really don't need much more theory than this these three episodes should give you enough theory to basically cover your first year or two of approaching so go now and approach for a whole year and keep re-watching these points and working on each sticking point working all these traps and problems and mindset issues and all these techniques and [Music] really it's that simple of course it's not simple but you don't need much more theory than this in fact more theory could hold you back make sure you work on your victim mindset stop making excuses you will despite all the rejection you get you will have many positive interactions you will have many nights out that are just fun and amazing you will also have some brutal nights this whole process if you decide to commit to it seriously is going to be far more challenging emotionally than you ever imagined but at the same time it will also be far more rewarding and it will not just be about sex it'll be about so much more than sex and lastly if you're deciding that you're not going to do this process then you need some other strategy for how to solve this problem of not getting laid in your life as a guy you can't just keep stomaching this it's gonna fester like a wound and it's gonna get worse and worse and worse this problem will not solve itself you need some way some strategy for how to socialize develop social skills and then from that get girls whatever that is for you maybe for you it's not going to be pickup it's going to be social circle fine then go master social circle if that's more your style but you need some kind of proactive concrete strategy and there are not that many different strategies but you got to pick one you got to work it do not just ignore this problem because it's not going to go away for you as a man you